Ask Hungary 2
by Alix Cohen
Summary: Hungary starts answering letters again; chaos ensues. And, perhaps, some order. Now complete.
1. Intro: Puerto Rico and California

_Querida Hungary,_

_Hola! greetings from __puerto rico__. America told me about what happen between Mr. England and Fru Fru and I just wanted to ask if it was true or not._

_I'm also having a little get together at my house and was wondering if you wanted to come or not (hopes you say yes)._

_Con amor, Boriken (a.k.a Puerto Rico)_

Dear Puerto Rico,

I would love to come visit you; thank you so much for the invitation!

As for what happened in February between England, France, and America…well, you can believe what you want, but seeing is believing. Would you mind if I made your get-together a yaoi movie night? *grin*

Hungary

_Hiya! California here~_

_So I was reading some past letters and... wow. Just wow. Although America was probably drunk when that happened, right? Just a tip: never get America drunk. EVER. NO MATTER HOW GOOD OF AN IDEA IT SEEMS. It's like asking for a death sentence. Totally not a good idea. AT ALL._

_Yours truly,_

_California_

Dear California,

Of course it was a good idea. Everybody won this one, except for that asshole Prussia.

The secret is not to get _England_ too drunk: with him there's a fine line between horny and angry. Fortunately, I hit exactly the right balance.

As for your father…I don't actually know how drunk he was, though I do know that wine doesn't go well with hamburgers. I'm glad you're worried about him, but trust me: when I'm in charge, he's in good hands.

Peace,

Hungary

…

**A/N:** Hello world! Hungary is back online, and ready for letters. Characters that are taken: Italy, Austria, France, Prussia, England, America, Israel, Canada, Germany, Ukraine. Beyond that, the world is welcome :)


	2. Israel 1

_Dear Hungary,_

_I'm writing on someone else's behalf. More specifically, __Canada__ has a problem that I think you might find to be...your area of expertise._

_Anyway, he and I have been hanging out more often these days, and yesterday he confessed to me that he was in love with __Prussia__. Yes, you read that correctly: Canada is in love with Prussia, and, if the whole megillah with __France__ and __England__ gives us anything to go off of, the feeling is not mutual. At the very least, his love is unrequited, because Prussia's been pursuing you._

_Now, you seem to enjoy playing matchmaker, and although I find your motives a bit...distasteful, you are quite good at it. Do you think that you could get Prussia and Canada together? It would make Canada happy and potentially get Prussia to stop bugging you. Unfortunately, I won't be much help here. The  
>last time I saw that albino, I had him wrapped up and mailed! He probably won't want to listen to me. Also, caution in general might be wise this time around. Prussia's on the Internet, too; remember how he found out about the party? If he thinks that you're setting him up, he might not be too compliant...<em>

_Well, good luck!_

_Shalom,_

_Israel_

…

Dear Israel,

Hmm…this isn't one I've heard before. And yes, Prussia has been incredibly annoying since the Wall came down, although the past couple of months he's stayed quiet…I think we taught him something.

I'll see what I can do. In the meantime, keep hanging out with Canada, and maybe get him in touch with me.

Glad you're doing well,

Hungary

…

**A/N**: Operation Maple Beer is go! Now, to have a plan…


	3. Puerto Rico 2, Germany 1, France 1

_Querida Hungary,_

_Yay! you said yes. ^_^_

_Oh no, I won't mind one bit. *grins widly*_

_I miss Canada...can you call and see if he wants to come too._

_Con amor,_

_Boriken,_

_P.S. My real name is Marisol, but you can still call me Boriken if you want to._

Dear Marisol,

I look forward to it. This Saturday?

Hungary

PS I'd invite Canada, but I don't think he appreciates yaoi as much as we do. It wouldn't be so fun for him.

_Dear Hungary,_

_This may be a somewhat strange question to ask from nowhere but... do you happen to know the reason Feliciano keeps crawling into my bed every night? At first I assumed it to be something Italians did, but I'm starting to doubt its normalcy. I asked __Austria__ about it, but he told me I should speak with you over such things._

_I hope this letter does not inconvenience you in some way._

_Sincerely,_

_Germany_

Dear Germany,

You of course understand that Italy did not have a normal childhood. I believe he developed the habit around his grandfather, the Roman Empire. As Austria's territory, unfortunately, he was never that close to anyone. I'm glad he's opened up around you; I do want him to be happy.

And no, don't worry, you haven't inconvenienced me at all.

Hungary

_Ma amie, _

_Bonjour~! It is the lovely __France__! I must thank you again for arranging that little threesome for me, although I am still hard at work attempting to separate __England__ from America. Do tell me, is it true what Mathieu has said to me? Is he in love with __Prussia__? Oh dear...Prussia has never even noticed Mathieu before. I do not think he even realizes the poor boy exists!_

_France_

France,

You're very welcome. Has England finally accepted that Operation Eiffel Tower really happened?

And yes, I heard through a friend that Canada is in love with Prussia. I do intend to help him out…though to be perfectly honest, I'm not sure how to be politic with Prussia. The last time I saw him, I was using him for target practice. Maybe you can aid me in this, for Canada's sake?

Thank you,

Hungary


	4. Canada 1

_Dear Hungary,_

_You... You didn't say "Who?" when __Israel__ mentioned me! That's just... You didn't forget me. It feels great. I wish that Prussia remembered me..._

_Um, anyway, Israel said that you've agreed to help? I'd really, really appreciate anything that you could offer. Um, unless you're offering a __frying pan__. No offense, but you can get a bit scary when you're angry..._

_...so what are we going to do?_

_Thanks again,_

_Canada_

Dear Canada,

Of course I remember who you are! And it would be my pleasure to make you more visible to Prussia.

Yes, I know I get mad easily around him, I'm sorry…I will do my utmost to control my temper, for now.

Let me see…I think we should start with your image. Part of why some people forget about you is that you look a lot like America. We need to dress you in brighter colors, teach you how to project your voice (I'm sure I can get Austria to help), and, sometime after Easter, arrange a meeting with Prussia so that he knows you exist!

There will be other details to work out, but don't worry, I've got France working on this too, and he owes me.

You're very welcome,

Hungary


	5. Ukraine 1, Italy 1, Maine 1

_Dear Hungary, _

_I'm sorry for any inconvenience, but I need your help. I've been having trouble with money lately, and I want to pay my dear brother back. I heard that your "yaoi" pictures are great for your economy. Perhaps I can join in on this?_

_Thank you,_

_Ukraine_

_P.S. Could you tell __France__ to stop trying to grope me? It's making __Russia __upset._

Dear Ukraine,

I've got a bit of a dilemma here. On the one hand, I would like to help you out, and would love to teach you the ins and outs of yaoi. On the other, I think my concern for your safety is in conflict with this. What would Russia do to you if he found out?

If he doesn't care where you get the money from (which, on second thought, wouldn't surprise me), then I will happily assist you.

Regarding France: I'll pass on the message.

Hungary

PS Are you at all on good terms with Prussia? Circumstances suddenly require me to be somewhat diplomatic with him :P

_Cara Ms. Hungary!_

_So I just found out from Doitsu that you were receiving letters again, and so I thought I'd send you one!_

_Oh, I did have something to ask though! You've known Doitsu a long time haven't you, Ms. Hungary? So do you know what's in that box that he keeps under the bed? When I asked he just went a funny colour and refused to tell me!_

_Well, I've got to go now, the pasta is nearly ready ve~!_

_Hope to see you soon, Ms. Hungary!_

_Baci, Italy Veneciano _

_PS I'm calling him Doitsu 'cos it's cuter than __Germany__...__Japan__ told me ve~!  
><em>  
>Dear Italy,<p>

Thank you very much for your letter. I love hearing from you, and I'm glad you're well.

Germany's box…hmm…you know how when I'm not watching my videos, I keep them locked up someplace secret? Well, I think Germany keeps things like that in his box, and he'd be embarrassed and upset if he ever caught you looking at them. (Although, now that you mention it, I've never had more than a vague idea of what he keeps in that box…)

Stay well, and keep in touch!

Hungary

_Dear Hungary,_

_Is France bi? He certainly acts like it. I still remember that he groped me at America's Christmas Party. And that he stalks __Austria__._

_By the way, have you seen my coon cat, Augusta? __Michigan__ said something about __Russia__ stealing her._

_With friendship and lobsters, Alice. R. Jones AKA Maine._

Dear Maine,

"Bisexual" is rather a tame word to describe all the things France gets up to…if you want to be shocked, and possibly amused, by details, I'm bringing a video to Puerto Rico's party, and I don't think she'd mind another…are you her cousin? I'm not really sure how protectorates fit into the family…

If France ever touches you again, you have my permission to hit him with whatever blunt object is handiest at the moment. If it's a frying pan, so much the better.

And I'm sorry, but I haven't seen Augusta. To be honest…I'm not quite sure what a "coon cat" is. Can you describe her please?

See you,

Hungary


	6. Maine 2, Lebanon 1, Austria 1

_Dear Hungary,_

_A distant cousin, yes. Is __Cuba__ going to be there? I still have a little bit of a grudge with him after the whole 'blew up a ship with my name on it' thing._

_I've tried that...it doesn't help much._

_She has grey and black fur, a little stub for a tail, has six toes on one paw (__birth defect__) and has a collar covered in little blueberries._

_See you soon,_

_Maine._

Dear Maine,

No, I don't think Cuba's coming…the impression I got from Puerto Rico was that it's going to be a girls' night…perfect for my video *grin*

Well, now you can try it with my authority behind it. Especially if you have a skillet.

Thank you for the description, she sounds very cute…but what, if I may ask, is a coon cat?

Best,

Hungary

_Dear Hungary,_

_H-hi! I'm just wondering...is there anyway I can help get __Prussia__ and Canada together? I mean...I was French territory once...and I think of Canada as a brother! He's just so kind and sweet...though...I don't understand how he could like Prussia...they're __polar opposites__! But, if Matthew is happy, I'm happy!_

_From,_

_Lebanon_

Lebanon,

At the moment there's not much to do, but if I see an opportunity for you to help, I'll most certainly let you know. Stay tuned in the meantime.

Thank you very much for wanting to help,

Hungary

_Dear Hungary,_

_How is your __Parliament__ doing? Last time I heard, they were being insufferably childish._

_Oh, Japan sent that robotic __frying pan__ you wanted to my house. It sort of started hitting __France__ when he was hiding in the bushes outside my window._

_Love,_

_Austria_

Dear Austria,

France came to visit again? I would've thought he'd learned his lesson by now about looking in people's windows.

Interesting. I ordered the robotic frying pan to improve my swing…I didn't think it would start hitting France all on its own. If it didn't attack you, then remind me to thank Japan profusely. Now I can be in two places at once!

Except that I've got another assignment that involves me being politically correct with both France and Prussia. So while I'll be more than able to keep them in line, I won't get to test the new frying pan for a while.

My parliament has calmed down to about the normal level of childishness…enough so that I can take time off to answer letters, at least. *sigh*

I'll come pick up the robot frying pan this evening, on my way to Puerto Rico. (She wants to see the results of Operation Eiffel Tower.)

Love,

Hungary

PS Would you mind terribly giving Canada elocution lessons? It's part of that assignment I mentioned.


	7. Poland 1, Lithuania 1, France 2

_hayyyyy girl~ poland here :P u got any good matches goin on? im soooo bored rite now lolol so ya lemme no ttyl!_

_~poland_

_(attached)_

_Ms. Hungary,_

_I do apologize for Poland's... erm... interesting ideas about the conventions of grammar and spelling. He doesn't seem to understand that "snail mail" is generally written in proper English, not "chatspeak," and I'm really not sure he understands that it takes longer than two minutes to get a response... I'm very sorry for the inconvenience. I would offer to translate for you, except that I'm not quite sure I understand it myself..._

_Sincerely,_

_Lithuania_

Lithuania,

You have nothing to apologize for. Thank you for passing Poland's greeting on to me; I think he's either talking about yaoi or soccer. Shall I email him privately?

In the meantime, how are you doing?

Regards,

Hungary

_Ma amie Hungary,_

_Very well. I shall aid you. But I do not want Mathieu getting hurt, so you must promise me that you will not allow it. Prussia, while a dear friend of mine, is not the first choice I would have for my son._

_But his happiness is much more important to me. So I shall assist you._

_Love, _

_France__._

_PS: Have you noticed how beautiful Ukraine's chest is? Please tell her brother it is all in good fun._

France,

Of course I'll do everything I can to keep Canada from getting hurt. My plan at the moment is to spice up his wardrobe some (brighter colors, definitely; nothing he'd be uncomfortable with just yet), teach him to speak more audibly, and then, in a couple days, start having him cross Prussia's path. Anything you want to add?

Hungary

PS About Ukraine. Russia doesn't have a sense of humor; the Bolsheviks took it. Please be prudent, so that you can continue working for Canada's happiness.


	8. Lebanon 2, New York 1, Germany 2

_Dear Hungary,_

_T-thanks for responding! Oh, and my friend New York wishes to say something, let me give her the pen._

_Hey Hungary! I'm New York! I was wondering…can I come to this party you and __Puerto Rico__ are having? I don't get to go out much, cuz America just gives me a computer and goes off...if I can't, that's ok! But, dude, I'm sick of hanging out with D.C. all the time. He's WAY to serious ya know? So, I was just wondering, cuz I LOOVE parties ;D~_

_Love, _

_Lebanon & New York_

Thank you, Lebanon.

New York: I'm sure Puerto Rico wouldn't mind at all if you came, but I think you should ask her first. Sound good?

Hungary

_Dear Hungary,_

_His grandfather you say? Ja... that makes sense now that you mention it... I suppose it's not so bad now that I'm used to it._

_I suppose I'm going to have to find better __hiding places__ for my *cough* confidential items as well. Feliciano also seems to have a habit of going through my room at random intervals. Did he pick up this habit from his grandfather as well?_

_Sincerely,_

_Germany_

Dear Germany,

I don't think he picked that one up from his grandfather…but then again, you've studied ancient Rome in more depth than I have. I know he's always been curious, and eager to get involved in things. I'm pleased that you and he are getting along so well!

Best,

Hungary


	9. Israel 2, Canada 2, Lebanon 3

_Hungary__:_

_What's Lebanon doing hanging around this site? Why does SHE think she'll be any help? She has no place here!_

_And no, because I know you're going to say so, I am NOT overreacting! Do you know how many militants I had to hand over for /two/ __dead soldiers__ after my last war? She's no matchmaker; she's brutal._

_And since when has she been friends with __Canada__? That North American's been keeping things from me... *sigh*_

_Israel_

Dear Israel,

I'm sorry about what's happened between you and Lebanon. However, I did say "the world is welcome." And when I invite the world, you get people who hate each other's guts…I'm waiting with bated breath for Prussia to hack my system. I'm surprised he hasn't done so already…but this time I _will_, thanks to Canada, have to be somewhat diplomatic. I live and I learn.

Don't forget that you and she never have to talk to each other through my site; I'll tell her the same thing, for the sake of (what's your word) _shalom bayit_.

Hungary

_Dear Hungary,_

_Yeah, I do get mistaken for my brother a lot... It's not very fun._

_What do you mean by brighter colors? ...Never mind, I get the feeling that France will be all-too-happy to show me._

_On another note, Israel seems a bit... Well, she's angry about something, but I don't know what. Do you have any idea?_

_Thanks again,_

_Canada_

Dear Canada,

She had a war with Lebanon a very few years ago, and they've still got their backs up at each other. I do feel sorry for her sometimes, surrounded by her enemies…but then I remember that she's lived over twice as long as I have, and has survived much worse things.

Regarding the brighter colors, I was just thinking that the earth tones you generally wear help you blend in. France will certainly help you choose colors that work. He'll take you shopping tomorrow, and you'll start elocution lessons with Austria on Tuesday. How does that sound? I can't wait to see the results!

Hungary

_Hungary__,_

_Are you seriously getting Israel involved with this? Now, don't get me wrong, but how does she even KNOW __Canada__? Listen, I KNOW she doesn't like me, and I sadly feel the same, but does she really have to be involved in this?_

_Lebanon_

Lebanon,

I'm sorry about what's happened between you and Israel. But it is a fact that she has recently become acquainted with Canada, and it was she who alerted me to his crush.

Remember that neither of you have to help me in any direct way, and certainly in no way will you have to interact directly with each other through my site. I've told her essentially the same thing; I hope you two can keep some sort of peace for as long as you're using my site.

Thank you,

Hungary


	10. Lebanon 4, Liet 2, Italy 2, Israel 3

_Dear Hungary,_

_I will for Canada. But, have you ever thought how hard it is, to live in the __Middle East__? Oh, and let's not forget, I'm a pretty small country, so I HAVE to fight. I mean, yeah, she's been through a lot, because everyone practically hates her here, but the Bible said she would be surrounded by enemies, no? (what? I used to be a Christian nation -shrugs-) Just tell me if you need me to do anything ok?_

_Bettawfeeq,_

_Lebanon_

Dear Lebanon,

I have some idea of how life works in the Middle East; my own childhood was similarly tumultuous. I understand the feeling that you need to fight to survive, but everything usually works out. As for the Canada situation, I'll keep you posted.

Regards,

Hungary

_Ms. Hungary,_

_Yes, I think that would be a good idea. I believe he's talking about yaoi, but you never know with him... I really do need to teach him how to write a formal letter. He used to know, I think, but ever since email was invented he's forgotten..._

_I am well, thank you. Work is keeping me busy, of course, but I've had a little free time lately. Speaking of which, I haven't seen Mr. Russia in weeks—should I be glad or worried? I'm beginning to worry a little. He isn't plotting something, is he? I haven't really seen Estonia or Latvia either, but that's more normal. I think Estonia might be visiting Finland, and Latvia seems to spend all his time with that friend of his-what was his name again? That principality? Sealand, I think. I'm glad he's found someone to have a normal sort of relationship with. Maybe it will bring him out of his shell a little._

_Oh, I'd better go—Poland is yelling something from the next room. He probably wants me to tell him if that new skirt looks good on him. I look forward to hearing from you!_

_Sincerely,_

_Lithuania_

Lithuania,

I say, for now, be glad Russia isn't bothering you; I don't think he's up to anything yet. Maybe after his elections…still, we'll all keep an eye out.

It's so nice to see Latvia getting out of the house and making some friends. God, it's been so long since we all lived under one roof! And you know how thankful I am to have my own house back. And my husband.

Speaking of which, let me know about the skirt. Most skirts do look good on Poland…

Hungary

_Cara Ms. Hungary!_

_Ohhh...I guess I'd better not look then? I don't want Doitsu to get mad!_

_Oh, but talking about Doitsu, he's gotten really interested in Grandpa Rome all of a sudden...I wonder why..._

_Si! I'll try!_

_Baci__, Italy Veneciano!_

Dear Italy,

Perhaps Germany just wants to get to know you a little better. Grandpa Rome's a big part of your history…and Germany's always been interested in Rome. Maybe you could show him some of the highlights of your history?

Best,

Hungary

_Dear Hungary,_

_Shalom bayit... *sigh* There's so little shalom in my bayit. Just this morning, I caught Gaza planting a bomb in my kitchen. I think I know why __Egypt __left his son with me, but took that girl __Sinai__ back..._

_Lebanon has nothing to complain about me being here-I was here first! Besides, she has it easy. No one ever blamed HER when she invaded me. I am attacked for no reason, and the world blames me for it._

_I'll do what I can for Canada, but not if it has anything to do with HER._

_Shalom (yeah, right),_

_Israel_

Dear Israel,

If you want me to covertly discipline Gaza at some point, I'd be happy to do so. The kid should be happy he still exists!

And you really don't have to talk to Lebanon. If and when I need either of your help, I'll give you tasks as separate as I can make them.

Stay sane,

Hungary


	11. Austria 2, France 3

_Dear Hungary,_

_No, the __frying pan__ left me alone. It seems that Japan has outdone himself yet again._

_And I'd love to give __Canada elocution lessons__. It's really something __France __should have taken care of when he was a boy, but I suppose he never got the chance when __England__ took him over and by then, he had given up after trying to teach America..._

_What is that assignment you mentioned…matchmaking?_

_Love,_

_Austria_

My dear Austria,

Thank you so much for helping me with this. Can you start on Tuesday?

Remind me to thank Japan profusely next time I see him.

My assignment…matchmaking's a good word for it. We need to make Canada more visible to the object of his affection, so that said object will quit stalking us. (And France is on our side currently, so the robotic frying pan can still be an asset.)

Much love,

Hungary

_Ma cher,_

_How are you, amie? Please tell me the __frying pan__ that moved on its own was a hallucination brought on by a concussion from you attacking me for being outside Austria's window? Which, by the way, was completely innocent...I was merely looking for an item I dropped..._

_Russia__ has no __sense of humor__? Ah, very well. I shall merely admire __Ukraine__ and her lovely tracts of land from afar..._

_Concerning Prussia...while I still do not believe he is the right person for my Mathieu, I would like to know if you wish me to do anything to help your case._

_France_

France,

Don't try to be cute with me. The new frying pan is a Japanese invention, and it seems it's already making itself useful. I've programmed it to guard Austria's house; thought you might like to know.

Regarding Operation Maple Beer: Matt needs someone to buy him more visible clothes. What he wears only helps him blend into the background. Can you take him shopping tomorrow?

Make sure his new wardrobe is tasteful. I can always reprogram the new frying pan.

Thank you,

Hungary


	12. Prussia 1, Lebanon 5, Lithuania 3

_My dear __Hungary__,_

_All right, after much debate with my awesome self, I have decided. If you want a gentleman, I'm gonna be one! But not just any gentleman—I am going to be the most awesome gentleman ever! _

_I've enclosed a box of chocolates and some flowers with this letter, and I'm hoping you will accept them. Please at least consider me because we would so great together it would be so much more awesome than awesome that we would have to create a whole new word for how awesome it would be!_

_Prussia_

Prussia,

While it was very nice of you to send me flowers and chocolate, I still think your money would be much better spent on someone else. I have no intention of leaving Austria; he's still [(crossed out) more of a man than] much better suited to me, I think.

I shouldn't ask whether you're coming to the World Conference on Thursday; you always come, to try to convince everyone else that you're as awesome as you say.

Hungary

PS Have you ever been north of America? I hear the weather there is very nice.

_Dear Hungary,_

_-sigh- I really don't know WHY we have to hate each other. Seriously, aren't we a little too old for this? Besides, this is for __Canada__. I shall but my troubles aside for him. Maybe, /MAYBE/ Israel and I could be friends some day? I only invaded her for fun, and I mean, everyone else is trying. I'm sure a lot of countries even forget I exist.-sigh- I remember the times when I was one of the most popular ports...(doodles on page)_

_PS- Do you know if North Americans can make good hummus? Oh, and Happy __Easter __Everyone!_

_Wo elak kman,_

_Lebanon_

Lebanon,

Maybe we're all a little too old to be fighting. That's a good attitude to take, I think; sometimes it takes being tired of war to make peace.

I don't actually know about the hummus…you'd have to ask America about that.

Happy Easter,

Hungary

PS You draw rather well.

_Ms. Hungary,_

_Yes, I suppose you're right. I guess I'm still paranoid after...well...most of the last century, I suppose. Usually when he isn't bothering me, it means he's got some sort of plan and he's going to come at me when I least expect it... *shudders* But maybe he's just busy. (I sure hope he hasn't found someone else to bother. I would feel so awful for that person...)_

_I'm very happy for him. The way they interact is absolutely adorable, even though Sealand is rather younger than __Latvia__ is...then again, I don't think Latvia really got a childhood, so this might help. I'm glad to have my own house back too, although __Poland__ seems to be in it more often than he's in his own house, so I'm beginning to wonder if I should just call it "our" house  
>again and have done with it. Unofficially, at least...<em>

_Oh, the skirt? It was very...ahem...short. And... er. Yes. It's always awkward when they're that short. *coughs* A-anyway! Poland tells me you're trying to get __Prussia__ and __Canada__ together? I have to admit I'd never thought of them like that, but maybe Canada will soften Prussia up a bit. Does he still bother you, by the way? I'm lucky-he's mostly left me alone since the __sixteenth century__ or so..._

_Regards,_

_Lithuania_

Lithuania,

If Russia's found someone else to bother, we'll find out soon enough. On Thursday, perhaps, at the conference.

Poland likes shorter skirts now? How're his economic indicators? Wonder how well it correlates…anyway, yes, I'm hoping Canada will make Prussia less of an asshole (though it's a faint hope).

I wouldn't start calling your house both yours and Poland's until he thinks you have been for a couple of months. *shrug* And unofficial is fine. Austria and I aren't official anymore

See you on Thursday,

Hungary

**A/N:** In American history, at least, skirts got shorter in decades when the country was more prosperous. This is what I'm referring to with Poland.


	13. Palestine 1, Austria 3, Lebanon 6

_Dear Hungary,_

_Tell Israel there's plenty of reason she's hated and the world blamed her for HER invasion of Lebanon._

_Salaam,_

_Palestine_

_P.S. I hope this letter gets through. Israel's checkpoints never let my letters through._

Palestine,

Yes, don't worry, your letter got through. When I say the world is welcome, I _mean_ the world is welcome.

You've got an…interesting…concept of peace. By the way, is this Gaza or the West Bank?

Hungary

_Dear Hungary,_

_My schedule will permit me to begin teaching __Canada__ at __1:00 on Tuesday__._

_Wait... You mean to set him up with __Prussia__? Love, what did the poor boy ever do to deserve that?_

_And tell Prussia (crossed out words: get his hands off my woman) that we make quite an "awesome" couple._

_Love,_

_Austria_

Dear Austria,

Needing to get laid will do strange things to some people. So will unrequited love. I'll let Canada know when his lesson starts; do you think you'll be able to make some progress by Thursday's World Conference?

And Prussia has not had his hands _on_ me since he found out I was a woman. I've made sure of that, and now that Japan has sent me the Flying Pan, you have even less to worry about.

I look forward to seeing you this week, love; maybe I'll come over on Tuesday or Wednesday to see how Canada's lessons are going.

Love you too,

Hungary

_Dear Hungary,_

_Why thank you! I am quite fond of drawing. So, how have things been lately?_

_See ya,_

_Lebanon_

Lebanon,

I've been…busy. Busy answering letters, busy planning pairings, busy mediating age-old conflicts. Stay tuned for a while, and then I can tell you more.

Regards,

Hungary


	14. France 4, Lebanon 7

_Hungary,_

_Oui, I shall take Mathieu shopping. I do hope you realize he is very difficult to shop with...even IF you can find something "just the right size, at a reasonable price and without too much skin exposure," he still worries about how it will LOOK on him, even after repeated assurances that he is radiant. And he seems to have contracted his brother's paranoia about being fat! FAT! As if my son would be fat..._

_France_

France,

I had no idea that Canada was so choosy. [(crossed out) Like father, like son] I live and I learn. Nevertheless, I'm sure he'll be plenty visible on Thursday.

Thank you,

Hungary

_Dear Hungary,_

_-nods- Mhm..wait..Palestine...-sigh- Oh crap...the letters are gonna get ugly. I honestly just wish that the Israelites would have gotten rid of the competition while they had a chance. I'm not really fond of Palestine.-shakes head- so violent..._

_Kudos,_

_Lebanon_

Lebanon,

I think she does too, but you'd have to ask her that. I'll do my best to keep things peaceful, but don't be surprised if I call Israel in on damage control…sigh. There's one in every family, I suppose. *glances over shoulder*

Peace,

Hungary


	15. Germany 3, Italy 3, America 1, England 1

_Dear Hungary,_

_Ja, I suppose I have spent a great deal of time studying the __history of the Roman Empire__. Er, anyway, I suppose it`s alright that he`s curious but I should probably give him another lecture on privacy. Which is unfortunate, I haven`t had to give him that one since the last time he tried to get into the shower with me..._

_Sincerely,_

_Germany_

Dear Germany,

He tried to _what?_ *nearly falls out of chair laughing* Well, I suppose this is also a cultural thing; we had public baths when we all lived in Austria's house, but still…Keep me in the loop.

Hungary

PS Prepare for a history lesson next time you're at his house.

_Hi, Ms. Hungary!_

_Ve~, that sounds like a good idea, Ms. Hungary! I'll do that when he next comes over! ^_^_

_Baci,_

_Italy Veneciano!_

Italy,

I'm sure he'll enjoy it. And I look forward to seeing you at the World Conference.

Hungary

_Heya, Hungary. America here. Dude, Matty's got a crush? That's so awesome! Here I thought he was gonna die old and alone with a ton of cats or something. Of course I'm gonna help set him up, what are heroes for? I'm coming for you, Matty! 8D_

_America_

_PS: Iggy's not hitting me, and he acts... well, like Matty, kinda, when I bring up... what did ya call it? "Operation Eiffel Tower"? Anyway. Yeah. That. Since he's all shy and sh*t, should I assume that means he DOESN'T hate my guts for it?_

America,

I think that's safe to assume…just don't assume it too loudly, or it won't be true anymore. (I wish I didn't feel like you needed to be told that…)

Anyway, if you want to help me, meet me, Canada, and France before the World Conference starts on Thursday, and we'll work something out.

Thanks,

Hungary_  
><em>  
><em>Hungary,<em>

_I'm still never...never going to quite forgive you for that... Why side with the frog? _It_ isn't worth it, and you've both succeeded in giving me a case of trauma from your little game. I eventually had to have __Japan__ take my personal pistol in order to keep myself from shooting _it_ in the balls..._

_So America's... brother, was it? He has an eye for... _Prussia_? But…_why_? What could such a sweet boy see in such a disrespectful narcissist? [(crossed out) True, I may...possibly have a few tiny feelings for America, one of the largest narcissists in existence, but...] *sigh* In any case, it seems my luck that I'd be pulled into this sort of thing, so I assume you'll be hearing from me again after this._

_England_

Dear England,

You know, unless Japan gives you that pistol back, France still has a gender. I expect trouble from the Palestinian Territories in the near future; I'd rather not be moderating two wars at once. Smart of you, though, to get Japan to help you keep your cool.

You know, I could take the Freudian route and tell you about how Prussia represents the recognition Canada wants, the self-confidence he lacks, and every single desire he's ever repressed, but I know you don't want to hear that. Therefore, you can ask him yourself…if Operation Maple Beer is successful.

See you Thursday,

Hungary


	16. America 2, Germany 4, Manitoba 1

_Hungary,_

_Assume it too loudly? _Would I do that_? 8D It's not like I'm _loud_ or anything, right?_

_So! What didja have in mind for getting Matty laid? I had an epic win plan, but I don't know where to get flying sheep, since Tony has been off somewhere. Something about this site and rapist lettuce, he got *** and haven't heard from 'im since, so I can't ask him to do his sciencey-alien thing and make a flying sheep. So, what's your plan? =D_

_America_

America,

My plan is to keep Canada crossing Prussia's path until Prussia notices him. After that, we keep planning.

I'd be willing to bet you misheard Tony—rapist lettuce? Although I'm not quite sure what he'd have meant anyway…

Hungary

PS What the _hell_ were you going to do with flying sheep?

_Dear Hungary,_

_Ja, a __history lesson__ sounds likely, and I'll be sure to prepare myself. Although, if it's coming from Italy I'll expect the subject to deviate to pasta at some point or other._

_Sincerely,_

_Germany_

Dear Germany,

Aside from that pasta is an important part of Italian history, I don't know what to tell you. Except that, if this happens this week, would you mind bringing leftovers to the conference, please?

Thank you,

Hungary

_Bonjour __Miss Hungary__!_

_I'm Manitoba! One of Canada's children! I have this problem, people tell me Nate ( Newfoundland ) and Ben ( new jersey ) like me but I don't know how to deal with it. Help!_

_Also, Ontario (Oliver) and Pierre (Quebec) always have these make out sessions. Do you want me to film them for you? It's funny to watch!_

_Peace out_

_Miguel Manitoba Williams_

Dear Manitoba,

YES. PLEASE DO. Just don't tell Canada, ok? I'm in the process of doing him a major favor. Once I've got _him_ properly laid, _then_ send me the video of his sons making out.

As for Ontario and Quebec, you've got a couple factors to consider. First, who's telling you that they like you? Do you trust them enough to confront Ontario and Quebec? Second, you have to decide for yourself how you feel about them, preferably before you confront them. Third, how much time do you all spend around France? It sounds like he's teaching you everything he knows.

Peace,

Hungary


	17. Israel 4

_Dear Hungary,_

_For...fun? That...that kalbah invaded me for FUN? Because EVERYONE ELSE WAS TRYING? Does she not realize how many people DIED in that war? How many men, women, and children live their lives in constant danger because of the conflict between my neighbors and me? I can't believe she wrote that. I just can't believe that anyone could be so...so..._

_Ugh, I don't have a nasty enough word. And she thinks that we could be friends? Bah._

_And there's a REASON that I haven't "gotten rid of the competition!" _I_ value human life._

_And is that Palestine writing? My G-d... He's mainly __West Bank__, since you were wondering, but he's also a few little settlements and such... USUALLY he's well-behaved, but the press tends to side with him. And I never get a thank-you for any of the aid I give his people, any of the attempts I make to keep terrorists from killing his and my citizens, any help I try to give to his independence process... Gaza's Egypt's son, and a more insane little nation you won't find anywhere. That's all I want to say about him right now._

_...This was a nastier letter than I set out to write. I'm sorry; I think I need to go lie down. Slichah. *sigh*_

_All this, and still I sign my letters with "Shalom,"_

_Israel_

Dear Israel,

Well, we can hope. And I don't know about you, but I think Lebanon's trying to show remorse. She's not great at it, but it's a distinct possibility. When you jump off a cliff because all your friends are doing it, and survive, you start rethinking who your friends are. (I hope.)

I know how it feels to be the defender of a whole region…you were already dispersed, I think, and that idiot Prussia didn't think a girl could kick his ass. *sigh* An argument that continues to this day, I'm afraid.

I hope you feel better, and I pray for peace.

Hungary


	18. Austria4, Palestine 2, Canada 3, France5

_Dear Hungary,_

_That would be quite alright. One of his lessons will pertain to the fairer sex._

_Love,_

_Austria_

Dear Austria,

Perhaps you'd better ask Canada what he intends his…ah…position in this to be before you teach him the etiquette for either.

I look forward to seeing the new Canada!

All my love,

Hungary

_Dear Hungary,_

_Well, I'm the __West Bank__ and other __Palestinian territories__. Me and Gaza used to work together before Hamas became his boss and they refused to recognize my government's authority._

_And peace is an interesting concept. Maybe I'd try it out if __Israel__ tried it instead of settling in MY territory and killing my people. I have no choice. We have no choice. I'll die within a century if things don't change._

_Palestine_

Dear Palestine,

There's _always_ a choice. Even now, when neither side trusts the other enough to acknowledge that it exists. (On the other hand, if you and Israel were to join forces against Hamas…now, that would be an interesting choice.)

Hungary

_Dear Hungary,_

_...So, we went shopping. And I can't believe that I'm wearing this...thing that __France__ shoved me into. Think tie-dye with sparkles. And a very low neck._

_Rather, don't think it. You're thinking it, aren't you? THIS is supposed to get Prussia to notice me?_

_Well, it'll at least get me noticed: Kumijama (I think I spelled his name right, finally) just wandered into my room; his eyes widened, and he wandered back out. I don't think this is the type of "noticed" that I had in mind..._

_There are other outfits, too; they're in my closet. Some are...more like this one than others. I think I want a second opinion._

_*sigh*_

_Canada_

Dear Canada,

If all the outfits France bought you are that tacky, he knows whose house the Flying Pan is visiting…on second thought, what you've described might be just Prussia's taste. I know he likes a similarly obnoxious sort of music…I'll reserve judgment until I see the outfits; why don't you bring a couple to Austria's tomorrow and I'll take a look?

Hungary

_Hungary,_

_Mathieu__ and I went shopping today. I shall nothing, save that he was HORRIBLE when I tried to pick out clothing for him and I believe I am in need of a much-deserved break now._

_Also...I believe I am making progress with England. He is no longer threatening to shoot off my...ah..."little friends" whenever he sees me. Do you think I still have a chance? I do..._

_France_

France,

I think there might be a reason that Canada balked at the clothes you picked for him. However, I'll reserve judgment until I see them tomorrow. As far as a break, you have until Thursday. America will be meeting us before the conference starts to plan.

England…is…well. "Progress" is an interesting word, especially when America is saying the same thing from the opposite direction. Hmm…I just had an idea. For later.

See you,

Hungary


	19. Palestine 3

_Dear Hungary,_

_Hamas__ provides many public works charities and other relief efforts in Gaza and my place. I can't go against them. They're too popular. Not to mention members of my government has faced accusations of using money for personal gain._

_And __Israel__... I can't trust her. Her attempts at peace are half-hearted and the only thing I can say is she stops before outright annihilation and maybe it's because she's scared of how the international community would react..._

_(sighs) Not that my so-called supporters are any help. They don't attempt to assimilate my refugees even after over sixty years. Perhaps if Israel compensated them for their lost property and land..._

_Maybe I'm bitter. Maybe I wouldn't be in this mess if Israel had looked for an EMPTY land. Despite the propaganda the time, the land was far from empty here._

_Salaam,_

_Palestine_

Palestine,

Like I said, Middle Eastern nations have an immature concept of peace, one that the larger nations were shaken out of (I hope) by the invention of nuclear weapons. "Peace only when the enemy is destroyed" got us as far as Mutually Assured Destruction. And you might consider yourself lucky that Israel worries about international opinion; if she didn't, you wouldn't be writing to me today.

You know, if you and Israel and Lebanon and all your neighbors all wait for someone else to make the first move towards peace, we're in for a hell of a lot of waiting.

Hope,

Hungary


	20. France 6, England 2, America 3

_Hungary,_

_Mathieu is being outrageous. You would not believe how he is acting over a few sequins. I told him it was Prussia's style—I TOLD him mon ami Gilbert would not notice him if he wore anything less. And I do believe I should know, as I have been in the company of Gilbert (and his many hookers) for years._

_France_

Dear France,

First, facepalm. I don't need to know about the women Prussia's kept.

Second, you're absolutely right. Outrageous as your choices may be—and I saw a couple of them this afternoon, when Canada came to Vienna for his first lesson in elocution—the idea right now is to make Prussia notice him. Once we've accomplished that, we may be able to tone down the outfits. Maybe.

Third, Austria plans to include a lesson on "dealing with the fairer sex." I don't know about you, but something tells me Canada is going to _be_ the "fairer sex" in this case. What's your professional assessment?

Hungary

_Hungary,_

_Tell the frog I saw _its_ letter while I retrieve my pistol from __Japan__? *infuriated* If the creature thinks it is coming anywhere NEAR being forgiven, it is quite sorely mistaken... Believe you me when I mean this literally as well._

_Now, then. Care to tell me why America sent me a picture of his brother dressed like the [(crossed out) soon to be castrated] frog?_

_England_

_PS- America insists I must help, but hasn't been terribly useful. Any ideas?_

Dear England,

It's all part of the plan. You know what Prussia goes for, right? Also, please don't attempt to castrate France until I no longer have a use for him.

Thank you,

Hungary

PS In terms of helping…I think I'll need you to keep America from trying to help too much. Sound good?

_Hungary,_

_Duude! I just saw Matty in a dress! Was it a dress? Idk, it was epic XD TY FACEBOOK! France put it up online, god that was funny. But naw, me and Prussia are drinking buddies lately! He'd want a kinda punky look. I'm officially going shoppin' with Matty! HAHAHA! *hero victory pose*_

_America_

America,

To achieve that particular look, you'd better go shopping with France. Or, to expend less effort, just raid whatever closet you keep clothes from the 1970s in.

Wait. Since when do you hang out with Prussia? This is…improbable. Know what, next time you do, mention maple syrup to him and see how he reacts. Ok?

Thanks,

Hungary


	21. America4, England3, Palestine4, Austria5

_Hungary,_

_Naw, we're only drinkin' buddehz :P but I know his type well enough! Heroes are supposed to, y'know! 8D_

_Also, England just came back from Japan's place all pissed off and then barged into my house and stole my gun... O.o'_

_Sooo yeah! Takin' Matty shoppin the AMERICAN EPIC WIN way tomorrow! And gonna go drinking with Gilly tonight! This is gonna be so much win! HERO TIME!_

_America_

America,

Don't go out with Prussia tonight. Or looking for Canada tomorrow. If you tell Prussia anything (and I don't trust any man with beer in him to keep his mouth shut), you will throw the proverbial monkey wrench in your brother's chance at happiness. Not heroic at all.

In addition, you said you would help me, not take over operations. Let me put it this way: if you screw with what I've got planned, I will allow France to have his way with you. Then I will let England, in his current mood, see that it is happening, and tell him that it was your idea. Do we understand each other?

Good. See you Thursday.

Hungary

_Hungary,_

_Absolutely no promises as far as the creature is concerned. Also, as for America, I will try, but this I simply _can't_ promise. I do apologize._

_England_

England,

Here's a start. Invite America to dinner. Right now. Promise him hamburgers if you have to. But Priority One is to make sure he's with you tonight, and not with Prussia. His inner over-sugared cartoon character is on the verge of completely fucking up Operation Maple Beer. You know he doesn't shut up.

I'm sorry I have to inflict (?) him on you, but this is an emergency; you understand.

Regards,

Hungary

_Dear Hungary,_

_I'd talk when __Israel__ freezes her settlements and starts drawing them back._

_Salaam,_

_Palestine_

Palestine,

Well, you'll have to go through the humans on this one. Good luck working this all out.

Hungary

_Dear Hungary,_

_Err... Right. Forgive me. I shall begin adjusting my plans for __Canada__ being the "fairer sex." God help him. He's sure about __Prussia__?_

_Love,_

_Austria_

Dear Austria,

As far as I can tell, yes. (Poor kid.) But as long as he knows what he wants, I'm going to help.

Go ahead and plan, love. Right now, though, I want Canada to be both visible and audible on Thursday. I think today's lesson went well enough.

Love,

Hungary


	22. Israel 5, Canada 4, England 4

_Dear Hungary,_

_[(Crossed out) I don't... So he says, but... Don't you think...]_

_I have nothing to say that I haven't said before about the situation between myself and my neighbors. I try to do what I believe to be the best for my people, the Palestinians, and the Arab countries, and that's all I can do, right? This has been my home for thousands of years, and I'd like to keep it that way. If Palestine thinks that my attempts at helping him become independent are less significant than the _nonexistent_ actions of his so-called supporters..._

_I'm not going to rant here anymore. I hate not speaking up for myself in the face of insults, but what good will it do me? It's not like anyone listens. It's not like my defense statements make a difference._

_In other news... What the HECK did __France__ buy for __Canada__? That picture on __Facebook__... Well, all I can say is, Canada will get noticed. Very noticed. If Prussia can't see that much glitter..._

_Shalom,_

_Israel_

Dear Israel,

You do what you think is right; that's all you really can do. Same here.

Yes. Canada will be noticed. And Austria is teaching him to speak louder. And England is distracting America from revealing to Prussia what's going on. (I hope. I haven't seen him online lately…)

Praying for peace,

Israel

_Dear Hungary,_

_After I got home from my lesson with __Austria__, I practiced speaking loudly and clearly to Kimikaka (Is that it?). He listened very politely, and then said, "Who?" *sigh* Hopefully __Prussia__ is more attentive than my polar bear..._

_Wait... that picture got to FACEBOOK? __Maple__...Does Prussia have a __Facebook __account?_

_...also, why do so many nations seem to disagree with me being with Prussia in their letters to you?_

_Canada_

Dear Canada,

At least your polar bear listened. Making Prussia recognize your existence is probably going to take more than one attempt, and more lessons from Austria.

I'm sure he has a Facebook, but I don't think he looks at other people's photos unless he's in them, so don't worry. The surprise is safe—especially because I have England keeping an eye on your brother tonight.

As for public opinion…don't worry too much about it, but Prussia is…old news…to most of us, and we/they are interested in what, to you, makes him worth it. Don't get too stressed, but if you've thought about it, you can tell me.

Hungary

_Hungary__,_

_Very well... Apparently, I now have a date with America tonight._

_..._

_*chokes* B-Bloody... I have a date with AMERICA... You had best make sure this plan of yours works._

_England_

England,

Your going on a date with America tonight makes it more likely that it _will_ work.

Thank you!

Hungary


	23. England 5, Lebanon 8, Austria 6

_Hungary__,_

_I took him on a date, and now I have a __stomach ache__ from the burgers, a __headache__ from the sodding git, and my arse hurts for reasons I refuse to scribe...__Bloody hell__, woman. The only thing keeping me from bloody strangling someone is the gentlemen's code. How much longer must I keep America occupied?_

_Blast__ it all, my arse hurts the most... Good lord... Good and well when it's happening, then comes back worse than a nasty hangover..._

_England_

Dear England,

Well, I knew America was enthusiastic, but…(laughs)

I may send Italy over this afternoon to pick up the tape. He knows where it is.

Before you snap at me, I have to say you've gone above and beyond the call of duty. I didn't expect you to take him home…Thank you for keeping Operation Maple Beer on track; I don't think I'll need your assistance for another while. Also, China's given me a tea that's incredibly effective at curing hangovers…and other aches. If you need it, I'll have some on me tomorrow.

Staying tuned,

Hungary

_Dear Hungary,_

_-grumbles- I can't believe I'm saying this but...I think Israel belongs where she is. I mean...it was her land first. BUT, I get bored easily, so...the whole thing about attacking for fun...well...I did it to see if I was strong...I mean...I'm pretty small...and people forget I exist...Um, I do truly think all this fighting is stupid. Jordan doesn't help me at all really. And __Syria__...he...well, him and I...um...are having problems really...kinda...-sigh- I wish that the whole __Middle East__ would let go of the past really. I mean, what's it worth now? Oh, but, tell Canada I _am_ sorry about the monstrosity that __France__ picked out for him, and the whole __Facebook__ thing. I remember when France...-cough- um..I'd rather forget those times really._

_Salaam,_

_Lebanon_

Dear Lebanon,

Thank you. I understand having family troubles…and I'm glad we're all united in our goal of getting Canada properly laid.

Peace,

Hungary

PS What did France do before photography became efficient?

_Dear Hungary,_

_Well, Canada's doing much better. You can hear him without straining for his voice._

_Love,_

_Austria_

Dear Austria,

A definite step in the right direction. I'm excited for Phase Two tomorrow!

Love,

Hungary

PS I notice a tactful omission. What did you think of the outfits Canada showed me? I figure they'll attract Prussia like a fly to honey.


	24. Lebanon 9, New York 2, America 5

_Dear Hungary,_

_B-be-before photography? W-well...um..-gulps and blushes- Well I uh..._

_Hey, NY here. Lebanon sorta..well..ran off..y'know..I feel bad for the girl. Anyway. If there's anything Lebanon or I could do, PLEASE tell us. We feel kinda useless._

_-Lebanon:-rocks back and forth- It's ok…you're independent now..._

_NY: Might have to get her counseling..._

_Bye!_

_Lebanon & New York_

Dear Lebanon and New York,

Lebanon: I apologize for bringing up unpleasant memories. If there's any way I can help, let me know.

New York—an idea: why don't you start a support group for France's former colonies? I'm sure Lebanon will feel better knowing she's not alone, and I'm sure some of her sisters-in-arms have useful mechanisms…there I go again. I know Freud wasn't Hungarian, but he's so damn useful.

Hungary

_Hungary,_

_Duude, __Iggy__ went all red then tore up your letter. What didja say? 8D_

_Last night was so awesome. We went to __McDonalds__, and then we went to the rodeo! Then Iggy went bull riding, dude was it epic! He was screaming pirate-speak and laughing while the bull was trying to murderfy him, he was so cool! Not as cool as the hero, but still! 8D_

_So! When can we get Matty laid? Also, I'm bringing a __mechanical bull__ to the next meeting. Just a heads-up. Heroes do that, maybe._

_America_

Dear America,

England was just upset that I was—what's the phrase you use?—messing with him. You can tell him now that I knew exactly where he was because _you_ can't stay off Twitter for five minutes at a time. Riding a bull is still, as far as England goes, a sacrifice for the cause. Thank him, if it's possible for you to be ironic, for being such a good sport about it.

As for Canada: introducing Prussia to him will be a time-consuming process. We start today, by having him cross Prussia's path several times, and have them speak to each other at the end of the day. Getting him laid will take several weeks at least. I'm glad he's more patient than you are.

Hungary

PS NO mechanical ANYTHING at meetings while Operation Maple Beer is in progress. Although you might want to give France his vibrator back…

**A/N:** You _don't_ mess with Hungary. She messes back.

Coming soon: reports on how the meeting went, please!


	25. France7, Austria 7, Palestine5, Romano 1

_Hungary,_

_Do you like the __Facebook__ picture?_

_Also-KEEP AMERIQUE AWAY FROM __PRUSSIA__ AT ALL COSTS._

_France_

Says the man who just posted a detail critical to Operation Maple Beer on Facebook.

Dear France,

I'm not mad at you; I know Prussia doesn't look at pictures that don't have him in them. And I appreciate your concern, but really, I have things under control. England proved a most excellent distraction Tuesday night; and yes, I think what you've chosen for Canada will be perfect to catch Prussia's eye.

Remember the plan: every time there's a break, we make sure Canada and Prussia are in the same room. At the end of the day, we have Canada say hello to Prussia, and whatever else he's confident in saying. Then we wait for the mail to come.

Hungary

_Dear Hungary,_

_His new outfits... certainly are to Prussia's tastes. That's all I'm going to say. You know I personally prefer outfits that are less gaudy. But, if it makes Canada happy and attracts __Prussia__ (I never thought those two statements could go together in the same sentence), I'm happy for him._

_Love,_

_Austria_

Well, my dear, that's the plan. And yes, I never thought those two thoughts went together either, until now.

Love,

Hungary

_Dear Hungary,_

_Well, I'm certainly in a good mood. The __United Nations__ are finally doing something useful. They're going to finally recognize me as a state in September._

_Salaam,_

_Palestine_

Palestine,

I'm…ah…happy for you! It's nice that the UN is getting its ass in gear.

Hungary

_Er... Hungary,_

_How the f*** does this letter ** work? Dammit. Keeps censoring me._

_Have you heard from Toma- Spagna? He keeps chasing me around, I think I shook him off. Bastardo. And what about that idiot brother of mine? He still hanging out with that Potato Ba- Potato-Eater?_

_Also, stop taking pictures of me and Spagna. It's getting creepy._

_**, __he__ found me!_

_Italy Romano_

Romano,

It's nice to hear from you. And you know, the last time I took a picture of you with Spain was over a month ago…and then you found my cameras and smashed them.

And yes, I saw Spain at the conference today. He looked a bit more haggard than usual…care to tell me what's going on?

Hungary


	26. New York 3, Germany 5

_Dear Hungary,_

_That's a great idea! Please, spread the word ok? Oh, and I'll help try to keep Dad away from Prussia. __Lebanon__, anything you wanna add?_

_Lebanon:-still in emo corner-_

_NY: Guess she doesn't. Anyway. TTYL! LOL_

_NY & Lebanon_

Dear New York and Lebanon,

Thank you for your help; I hope the support group works out. (Might I suggest you invite Seychelles first?)

Hungary

Dear Hungary,

Well, now I know more of the history of pasta than I ever thought I would need to know, but I did learn a few interesting things about Rome and my entire refrigerator is stuffed with pasta. I think I can bring it in.

A-also, Italy told me that he's, er, waiting for someone he called 'Sheishei Roma' or something like that... it sounds a little familiar but I couldn't place it. He wouldn't say much about it though so... er, if it isn't asking too much, is there anything you could tell me about him, and how Italy knows him?

Sincerely,

Germany

Dear Germany,

It sounds Japanese. I know Italy and Japan have been doing some cultural exchange lately…hang on, let me text Japan and ask…

…okay, the closest-sounding thing he's taught Italy means Holy Rome…my goodness, he's still waiting for the Holy Roman Empire to come back?

Before I married Austria, the house outside Vienna belonged to a young Nation who lived with us; he was the Holy Roman Empire. He was always trying to be tough, but he had an adorable crush on Italy…I think he thought Italy was a girl, since they were both so young and Austria made him wear dresses. Holy Rome went off to war and never returned…and the next thing you know, I'm a wife and Prussia's united the German states.

I hope I've answered your question satisfactorily.

Hungary


	27. Ireland 1, Canada 5, New York 4

_Dear Hungary,_

_Dia duit Hungary! It's __Ireland__. I met you at the council meeting where __Canada__ was um, quite astonishingly dressed. Quite odd, if I do say so. As I told you at the conference I am so glad I got over that __potato famine__. Ugh I lost so many people to that damn "hero" America. *pout pout fume fume*_

_Deartháir Germany told me that since you are getting Canada at least noticed you might be able to help me with a problem I am having. You see, I've got a crush on __South Korea__ and he doesn't know I exist. Can you help me get together with him? If not, oh well I'll just drown my sorrows with whiskey. Not like I haven't before!_

_Bye,_

_Ireland_

_P.S. Would you mind calling me Meghan? It's what everyone calls me._

Dear Meghan,

I think the best course of action here would be to hang around Korea and listen to him. I don't spend much time around him, but I know he's always talking about himself; I think he'd love to have an attentive audience.

Good luck,

Hungary

_Dear Hungary,_

_I... I'm not certain, but... I _think_ that Prussia did a double-take when I came into the meeting! I'm not sure because, well...I ran out again. You saw. I was shaking so badly...but I did say "Hello" to him, before I ran away, and I'm fairly certain that he noticed. He _noticed!

_Canada_

Dear Canada,

Yes, I think he did notice you! Not sure whether he knows it's you or not yet, but that's what the next several encounters are for. There's a NATO meeting on Monday that I'm sure he'll be at; in the meantime, you'll keep practicing with Austria.

And don't worry; stage fright is perfectly acceptable at this point in the game.

Hungary

_Dear Hungary,_

_Of course. Oh, and __Lebanon__ and I were talking, we think it would be healing if France saw how his former colonies have been affected. But Lebanon doesn't want to tell him to show up herself...so, in the next letter you get from him...could you ask him? Because she doesn't want me contacting him either._

_Thanks!_

_New York & Lebanon_

Dear New York,

I think it's a good idea…but not yet. I think you all should get together first and talk, maybe decide exactly what France needs to know before you confront him with it. Remind me once you've done that?

Thanks,

Hungary


	28. New York 5, France 8, England6, America5

_Dear Hungary,_

_Yes...good idea. I've called many of the former colonies, and they have agreed to meet at my house...-sigh- Sorry about me writing for __Lebanon__. She's still in her emo corner._

_Thanks_

_New York_

New York,

You're very welcome. Let me know how it goes.

Hungary

_Hungary,_

_Little time. Running. __England__ has a gun. HELP, MERCI!_

_France_

_PS: Should I have not grabbed his ** and called him a sexy __Englishman__?_

Dear France,

As sexy an Englishman as he happens to be, that was not at all intelligent of you. Thank you for helping me with Canada.

Hungary

PS Try going to Geneva. Switzerland will step in at some point to keep you from getting shot.

_Hungary,_

_I hadn't taken him home. I haven't been home in days... *wanting to cry from exhaustion* That was the last meeting for a few days at least, right? Please, I beg you, deal with America just a bit, I'm too bloody tired to take it any longer... Did Prussia notice Canada? As you might've noticed, I had dozed off..._

_England_

England,

Well, there's NATO on Monday, but you can sleep all weekend. I have to thank you once again for being so gracious about all of this.

Try reminding America that he has his own domestic politics to attend to. If that doesn't work, send him here, and I'll start childproofing Budapest.

Hungary

PS Did you two watch the wedding together? *So* cute!

PPS If you still feel like murdering France, he's headed for Geneva.

_Hungary,_

_WHEN CAN I GO DRINKING WITH __PRUSSIA__ AND MATTY DX England is getting grumpy! He doesn't know how heroes have fun, it's so boring! C'mon, hero time yet? D8_

_America_

America,

You can go drinking with Prussia and Canada when Prussia and Canada are a couple. Until then, I don't want you near either of them. As for England…I think you've been a bit hard on him. We elder nations do sometimes have trouble keeping up with your generation.

By the way, what's your Senate doing right now without you? You might want to go stop them from screwing over millions of Americans who lack health insurance. That's heroic.

Hungary

**A/N:** There are a number of simple ways to get around the profanity filter. I had some listed here; then I realized that any administrator reading this could simply make the filter smarter. Anything you don't disguise will be represented as two ambiguous asterisks. Thank you! (As it is, I'll leave it up to you what France grabbed.)


	29. France9, Ireland2, Lebanon 10, NewYork 6

_Hungary,_

_I am writing this briefly on a plane to the __Middle East__. I thought perhaps I could find some shelter there, as __England__ found me in Geneva. Could you send a message telling them I will be arriving shortly and would like to request someplace to hide? Angleterre simply does not realize when things are done for love..._

_France_

France,

Ah…I don't think the Middle East is the best place for you to go, given all your former colonies there…and this really is between you and England.

Godspeed,

Hungary

_Hungary,_

_Thank you for the advice. I will try that at the next meeting, and in the meantime, I heard from my friend the __Philippines__ (Jasmine) that the reason Canada was dressed like that was that you're getting him together with Prussia. Can I help?_

_Lucky clovers,_

_Meghan_

Dear Meghan,

I don't know that there's much to do at this point…but if you really want to help, you can give England a hand by watching America. Aside from Prussia himself, America is the greatest danger to Operation Maple Beer; and I know that three days keeping an eye on him has driven your brother mad.

Thank you,

Hungary

PS How did the Philippines find out? Why do I trust Nations to keep secrets?

_Dear Hungary,_

_It's me...Lebanon...-sigh-The meeting went well with the other former colonies. Oh...and I noticed that you have _69_ reviews...!...Sorry! See? This is what I mean! France ruined my innocent mind.-hitting head on desk repeatedly-_

_Hi. Its NY again. __Lebanon__ is laughing/beating her head on the desk. Yeah...even though, it is funny. But, the rest of the former colonies are kinda...in the same state she's in. Their innocence has been shattered. ^_^_

_Did you watch the __Royal Wedding__? SOOOOOO CUTE!_

_Peace!_

_Lebanon and New York_

Dear Lebanon and New York,

I'm glad the meeting went as well as it did. Although I have to say, I don't have much innocence left myself. But. The things France has done to his colonies…I have to say what England's going to do to him was bound to happen someday.

I'm not quite sure how to feel about that…he's a most useful accomplice…but at the same time, he deserves it, historically speaking. Since I can't prevent it, I'll wait and see whether England follows through before I judge.

And though I didn't watch the wedding, I'm sure it was cute. You could ask America what he thinks, though. I hear he paid more attention to it than England himself did.

Peace,

Hungary


	30. Israel 6, Romano 2, England 7

_Dear Hungary,_

_Sorry I left the meeting early-not much was getting done that had to do with me anyway, and someone had to take Canada home after he fled. But before he fled...! Something was there, when he went up to Prussia, something that definitely hasn't been there before. I'm not sure what, but it exists. Of course, then __Canada__ turned around and high-tailed it to the lobby. (I would  
>have, too, if I were in <em>that_ outfit.)_

_So France is headed to the Middle East? If he shows up on my doorstep with England chasing him, do I protect him or hand him over?_

_And, um... If Lebanon's reading this... (If it's New York instead, could you read this to her? Um, thanks.) You really think that I, um, belong where I am? And the fighting... It's very stupid. Yes. Um. The past is hard to forget...especially when it leaves scars..._

_Do try to get out of the corner, at least. It's hard. It's really, really hard, once someone scars you. Not on the outside, on the inside. Although I have an outside to match. After __Germany__... After he did what he did... But I'm...more out of the corner now, per say, at least. A support group might  
>help, but I wouldn't know...there was only me back then...<em>

_And I know that things are...rough...between you and __Syria__. But he's, um, busy bombing his people at the moment, so... if you'd like to...to have falafel or... or something..._

_Shalom,_

_Israel_

_PS: _No one_ in __North America__ makes good hummus, not like we do here in the __Middle East__, anyway. Because you asked...a while back...Um...Never mind._

Dear Israel,

I'll pass on your letter to Lebanon. I think she'll appreciate it.

Yes, I think something happened on Thursday; I feel encouraged! Now we just have to do it again tomorrow.

About France…well…if he comes your way, and you want to save him, by all means do so, but you should bear in mind that as much as I like having France intact as an accomplice, you need political support from England.

Good luck,

Hungary

_Hungary__,_

_Hmph. How am I supposed to know if you have cameras on us now or not? Where the fuck do you get those things, anyway?_

_HA! I got that Tomato Bastard good last night. Serves him right for trying to jump me the day before his meeting. But, heh, __Spain__ WAS pretty hot... i-in the t-temperature sense, of course._

_- Italy Romano_

Romano,

I'm glad you and Spain are…communicating well. As for the cameras, you know everything is made in China nowadays. But I have two high-resolution Japanese setups—one lives in Paris, and I keep the other with me. Whether I have them on or not depends on how much you trust my telling you that they aren't. (Which you don't, so it doesn't matter.)

Hungary

_Hungary,_

_Don't bother asking tomorrow why the frog's groin is in a cast. Just know that America's pistol is now my closest friend, and you may now call the creature FRANCISCA if you so please._

_England_

_PS- I actually was there. Such a prestigious event within my own government, it is unheard of for me not to attend. I managed to fend America off long enough to attend... Though I'm certain at the NATO meeting tomorrow he'll attach himself to my person once again. *groans and massages bridge of nose*_

England,

I meant to ask if you watched _together_, given that America has been so enthusiastic about the whole thing. And you can worry a bit less about tomorrow—I've asked your sister Ireland to America-sit.

Now. What the _hell_ were you thinking regarding France? I hope you recognize the consequences of your actions; in case you haven't considered that, I'll elaborate.

While I must admit that, historically speaking, he deserved what you did to him, now was _not_ the time. He was a valuable piece of the plan to keep Prussia from being a nuisance, not to mention that you two had so recently put aside your differences to lead the NATO forces in Libya! Which is what we happen to be discussing tomorrow _at the meeting_. This was _not_ a smart time to pursue personal vengeance. That you chased him halfway across Europe makes it look even worse.

We'll talk tomorrow.

Hungary


	31. Lebanon 11, Italy 4, France 10

_Dear Hungary,_

_T-thank y-you very much._

_If Israel is reading this: Ca-can you hit __France__ on the head for me? And then tell him I need to see him? BUT IF YOUR TOO BUSY-! A-aand falafel sounds...d-delicious. If…ya st-...still wanna...umz..._

_And Hungary, again, anything you want me to do? Or __New York__ could help? WE feel like we're not doing anything..._

_na`mal an naraka qariban,_

_Lebanon_

Lebanon,

I'll pass it on. About France, though—I think England's taken care of him for now. *winces* He may not be able to attend your meetings until he recovers…

Hmm…anything to be helpful…let's see. New York can be part of the team keeping America from spilling everything to Prussia. And Lebanon—I think you've got enough on your plate organizing your support group. Things will get better for you, I promise. And so does Israel.

Hungary

_Cara Miss Hungary!_

_Germany__ let me tell him about pasta, yay! He didn't have hardly any in his kitchen, can you believe that? Ve~ it was fun though!_

_Oh yeah, I meant to ask, do you know who the new guy at the meeting was? I hadn't seen him before...he had very interesting clothes!_

_Baci,_

_Italy Veneciano_

Dear Italy,

I'm glad you had fun. Maybe you can teach Germany to make pasta sometime? I bet there are types of wurst that go well with spaghetti.

And the "new guy"? That was Canada. He's trying to impress…but I'll tell you about that in person, at the meeting tomorrow. And be careful around France—he and England had a fight today, and England won. He's not going to be in the best of moods…

See you,

Hungary

_Hungary,_

_It seems I can no longer trust you, or England, at all. And as revenge, I am sending Prussia a letter detailing EVERYTHING you have planned. Maybe next time you'll think twice about letting England use his magic to turn me into a woman!_

_Madeleine, formerly Francis_

France—

He did WHAT? The idiot! I didn't _let_ him do anything. I _told_ him now was not the time to pursue a personal vendetta against—

And DON'T YOU DARE. I am coming over—no, screw that, it's probably too late. Shit! You know something, France? If you ever ask me for help again, I'm bringing this up. And stay away from my husband.

Hungary

PS All things considered, it's still cute that you had a name ready. Did you anticipate a sex change?

**A/N:** Thank you to Karen Elaine DuLay for the curveball. *sits back and waits for the shit to hit the fan* This'll be interesting. See you at the NATO meeting!


	32. Germany 6, Israel 7, NewYork7, Lebanon12

_Dear Hungary,_

_Well, now __Italy__ is trying to instruct me on how to prepare pasta. I'm not really that interested but I don't want him to get upset so I suppose I'll go along with it..._

_Holy Rome...Holy Rome...it sounds familiar...of course the way you say I was born after he died so I can't have known him. Holy Rome though...and Italy a...a girl? In a dress?_

_It's strange I would find this familiar, ja? I should probably ignore it for now, Italy says it's time to take the pasta out of the oven..._

_Sincerely,_

_Germany_

Dear Germany,

I'm sorry it doesn't interest you…(it was my idea; I thought it'd be something fun…) why don't you make wurst to go with the pasta?

We don't actually know whether Holy Rome died. We just stopped hearing from him…you know Prussia didn't die once you'd taken over as Germany; maybe Holy Rome's alive as another German. Interesting that you find it familiar…hmm…what if…

But never mind. Enjoy the pasta!

Hungary

_Dear Hungary,_

_Lebanon: Hitting people isn't exactly...high on my agenda. It's hard enough to maintain a neutral image with the media. I'll see what I can arrange, though... Because lots of people would like it, I mean, they find him annoying. That's why I'd hit him, not just because YOU'RE asking me or anything! ...As for falafel, how about...um...Tuesday? We can have a picnic on the border...so we don't have to...um...you know...trespass..._

_Okay, back to Hungary: Italy's comment is very reassuring! Any amount of being noticed is GREAT for __Canada__ at this point, even if it's a "Who's the new guy?" sort of noticed._

_Wait, wait, wait! France's sent a letter to...! _Harah!_ That...that _dreck!_ Ruining everything for Canada, just because he lost his _zayin_, which he'll grow back, everything grows back, and he was being a _schmuck_ to __England __anyway, which got him into that _meshugass_, not you! He's such a _shmendrek!_ I WILL hit that _momzer_ the next time I see him. _Eyn imglik iz far im veynik!

Shalom_ to everyone EXCEPT FOR FRANCE,_

_Israel_

_PS: ..._MADELEINE?_ Ahahahaha!_

_(_"Eyn imglik iz far im veynik"-_-"One misfortune is too few for him." The rest I probably should not translate, just in case there are any kids out there.)_

Israel,

Be my guest. And then I may turn him over to Lebanon's support group. But we shouldn't forget that England is to blame here too. I may just generally bang heads together after the NATO meeting.

Peace,

Hungary

_Dear Hungary,_

_Ok! I'll totally help! Did you know, that I _love_ helping people? Guess I get that from Dad…_but_ I will do the best I can!_

_Adios!_

_New York_

Dear New York,

Thank you very much. By the way, have you been watching your news? Your father's got his own ego trip coming…

Hungary

_Dear Hungary,_

_Thanks, and _OW!_ But...if he _is_ sending that letter...-eyes flare- how dare he ruin Mattieu's happiness! THAT IDIOT! WHAT THE F...FUDGE DOES HE THINK HE'S DOING! IM GONNA EFFING KILL THAT BASTARD!_

_NY here again...Jamilia is off throwing things in her rage...yeeeaaahhhh_

_NY & Lebanon (Jamilia __Haddad__)_

Dear Lebanon,

I may turn France over to your support group when I'm done with him. Of course, this is contingent on how Prussia reacts.

Hungary

**A/N:** At 11:30 pm Eastern Time this evening, President Obama announced that Osama bin Laden had been killed by American troops. ILoveAnimeVeryMuch123, you have your instructions.


	33. New York 8, Lebanon 13, America 6

_Dear Hungary,_

_WAIT WHAT? OSAMA BIN LADEN IS DEAD? WHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAATTTTTT?-scar on cheek throbs- ow...well...I wish that he could have been tortured..nonono that's not right...but after what he did to  
>me...But. You can't really trust Dad's boss...eh.<em>

_Seriously?_

_New York_

Dear New York,

Ask your father. I think he trusts his boss.

Hungary

_Dear Hungary,_

_Israel: Tuesday on the border? Got it. And…After you hit France...bring him over to me...hahhahahaha~._

_Hungary:Is it true? A-a-a-a-bout bin Laden? R-really? Oh, and thanks~ ;)~_

_Lebanon_

Dear Lebanon,

As far as I know, it's true. America seems excited about it, at least...it was all over his news this morning. I hope it's true…

Hungary

PS And don't worry, you'll get a shot at France.

_Hungary,_

_DID YOU HEAR? You remember the 9/11 attacks, right? With the __World Trade Center__, I cried for days, remember? Well, GUESS WHAT. Naw, don't guess, I'm too pumped to _not_ tell you! The leader of the terrorists, __Osama bin Laden__, is now GONE. Done, my troops have killed him dead! _KILLED HIM DEAD!_ We have his body to prove it! Heroes fight to protect!_

_America_

_PS- Americans, we're kinda like bears. Cuddly, protective and pissy! =D Total win, right?_

America,

I'm happy for you. But don't forget that bin Laden is just one man in a gigantic organization. Go ahead and announce your victory to NATO; but I don't want to see any lessening of your desire to finish what's been started. Or any disco balls, strobe lights, or mechanical bulls.

See you,

Hungary


	34. England 8, Prussia 2, France 11

_Hungary,_

_I wake up with a hangover and Francis is running around with breasts, there are bullets filled with a transformation potion lying around, and America is jumping on the roof screaming his __national anthem__ and waving his flag... What the HELL have I missed?_

_England_

_PS...Oh. _That's_ what you meant. I suppose you could say that...Though even still, he was much more enthusiastic about the new Doctor Who season, always screaming about "epic awesome aliens" and his "friend" Tony._

England,

Where shall I begin? First I want to know how you made that potion while you were drunk, let alone how you filled bullets with it. Second, I want to know what France did that was so horrible that you felt obligated to genderbend him…her…him. Third, America killed bin Laden this week, and has finally found out about it, though why he's on _your_ roof I couldn't tell you. Fourth, as a result of your actions, Prussia may already know what I'm up to—after you transformed France, he sent Prussia a letter spilling everything. You keep your friends close…

Anyway. We'll see how the shit hits the fan at the NATO meeting.

Hungary

PS I'd demand that you change France back immediately, but I want to see him as Madeleine first… *grin*

_Dear Hungary,_

_Do you any idea why France sent me a letter? I haven't read it yet because the awesome me has better things to do with my time. Do you know anything about it?_

_Anyway are you hiding something from me because that is totally unawesome, every time I try and talk to you, you squeal at me and push me away and in the direction of __Canada_

_cute kid, needs to learn to talk more and run away less and then he would be more awesome, I mean he is already awesome but if he talked a bit more and we had a conversation then his awesome level would just go up..._

_Prussia_

Prussia,

Of course I'm hiding something from you. When am I not hiding something from you? When you accept that I have secrets, we can move on.

Wait…you can see Canada? This is…wow. Yes. Since you think he's awesome already, I recommend you talk to him at the meeting today. Add to his awesomeness, like only you can. And that letter from France? That was just something he wrote last night when he was mad at England for…never mind. You'll find out.

Hungary

_Hungary,_

_You BET I dare! The letter should arrive at his house on Thursday, due to the slow mail system of my former colonies. Hmph. They should learn to respect their papa—ah, mama now—more._

_And this is not the first time England has turned me into a woman. Besides, did you not know that my people seem to enjoy thinking of me as a woman? I have been Madeleine before, amie, and it has been fun. Especially when the male nations do not realize who I am at first..._

_And non. Now that I am a woman, Austria is fair game._

_Madeleine, formerly Francis_

Dear France,

No. Now that you're a woman, I am even more determined to keep you away from my husband. Now, not only are you no longer able to be part of my artistic pursuits, but _I have a right to be jealous_.

And I have to take your colonies' side on this one, for personal reasons. Thank you for dressing up Canada for me, but…

Oh, and I've just heard from Prussia. You're a little late on the draw, as America would say; I'm less mad at you now for the letter, but _stay the fuck away from my husband!_

Hungary

PS Don't forget about the Flying Pan...


	35. Austria 8, France 12, Canada 6

_Love,_

_France, it seems, has become a woman... Currently, he/she is outside my house, trying to seduce/rape me. Don't worry, though. All the __doors and windows__ are locked. He/she cannot possibly get in._

_Love,_

_Austria_

Austria,

How can he rape you as a woman? Don't worry, this is purely an academic question. I may watch him do it to someone else at some point, but at the moment, I am on my way to Vienna with the Flying Pan.

See you soon.

Love,

Hungary

_Hungary,_

_I-I have no fear of the Flying Pan! None at all! No!_

_However, I will admit that __Austria__ is not my first target. Since I am a woman now, I am thinking of slipping into England's house tonight. But don't tell __Amérique__! He simply would not understand..._

_Also, my colonies have lost all sense of respect for me. Did you know, Lebanon actually hit me when I tried to make my way to her bedroom with her? Silly child, she never resists when I am male..._

_France_

France,

That's because when you forced yourself on her before, she was your colony and had no choice. She is no longer a "silly child;" in fact, I am in the process of helping her and others of your former colonies get over the trauma _you_ have caused them.

Not your first target? Right. Austria says you're at his window. I was headed there anyway—don't look now, but I'm right behind you.

Kiss my caffeinated ass,

Hungary

_Dear Hungary,_

_He talked to me! _He talked to me!_ Prussia knows I _exist!_ We were just sitting there, while everyone else was trying to get America to stop dancing on the table and sit down (Admittedly, killing bin Laden is a pretty incredible thing, but still!) and we just started talking, about what the meeting was supposed to be about and other, random chat... It was great. It was really, really great. And he said that I was "on [my] way to awesome"!_

_This is _GREAT!

_Canada_

Dear Canada,

I'm writing from Austria's house; I just had to call the police and alert them to a most unwelcome intruder there. We're about to have dinner, but I wanted to see how you were doing. I'm so glad it went well! Remember not to get too excited too fast, but it's a start. Did you get his phone number? Maybe you (or he) can plan the next meeting!

Hungary


	36. PR 3, Lebanon 14, America 7, Prussia 3

_Querida Hungary,_

_Sorry for no writing you sooner -_-_

_So what did you think about the party... Sorry about San Juan and the way she acted._

_Oh and the movie was... um... great *getting a nose bleed thinking about it*_

_Con amor,_

_Boriken_

Dear Puerto Rico,

Thank you very much for inviting me; I had fun. Don't worry about San Juan…I'm glad you enjoyed the video.

God, that feels like such a long time ago…things were simple, for a brief moment…and now France is a woman. I hope it's temporary.

Best,

Hungary

_Hungary__,_

_1) I'm so happy for America right now, it's not even funny_

_2) I saw France as a woman...-smirks-...HAHAHAHAHAHAH! Sorry, but he does make a goodish-looking woman._

_3) Thanks for siding with me ^_^)/) I thought he/she was gonna hurt me. It's not like I have no respect for him/her (He/she's helped me a _whole lot_), it's just that he/she doesn't respect _moi_. I want him to see me as my own country, not his colony. I _am_ independent after all._

_Frying Pans Rule,_

_Jamila Haddad (Lebanon)_

Dear Lebanon,

Damn right you're independent! Congratulations on standing up to him. But the fight isn't over. Last night I caught him outside Austria's house again; I had to knock him out and call the police. There are just some things France doesn't understand. Unfortunately, that includes respecting other people. This is why I carry a frying pan.

Peace,

Hungary

_Hungary__,_

_France is a chick now? ...Kinda ew... If not for the boobs, I wouldn't be able to tell. Dude always looked like a lady anyway... XP_

_BIN LADEN IS DEAD! D-E-D! DEAD! *dances to Cottoneye Joe, waving England's boxers around* YAHOO! VICTORY! AMERICA FOR THE WIN, TERRORIST B1TCHES! =D Yeah, sorry, I'm gonna be like this for a while._

_SO! How far've we got with Operation Get Mattie Laid? =D I was a bit busy being epic during the meeting._

_America_

America,

…why do you have England's underwear?…never mind. And yes, I saw this coming—New York sent me a video of herself singing your national anthem, which was a large enough file that it wasn't worth posting.

And yes, France is female now. This happened while you were celebrating your victory—England got drunk and chased him to Lebanon. I'm hoping he'll change him back when things cool down.

And in terms of _Operation Maple Beer_, …I think it's proceeding quite well on its own now. All we have to do is encourage it, and make sure nothing goes wrong; but contact has definitely been established.

Regards,

Hungary

PS I think England wants you to apologize for how oblivious you've been to his feelings lately. It was unheroic of you.

_Dear Hungary,_

_Why are you so surprised I noticed Canada? It's not like he is invisible and he is hell of lot better to talk to then his unawesome brother. He is so near awesome that I think I'll talk to him next meeting as well..._

_not that that is the only reason I am going! The meeting just would not be awesome without the awesomeness that is me!_

_Prussia_

Prussia,

I'm surprised because so few people can see him. Would you have noticed him on Thursday, or on Monday, if he weren't dressed like a rainbow threw up on him?

And we don't have another meeting for another couple of weeks. If you want to share your awesome, why don't you buy him coffee one of these days? Or beer? I know that's something you Teutons enjoy doing.

Hungary


	37. Austria 9, America 8, PR 4

_Dear Hungary,_

_Well, it is France. Quite frankly, there is nothing perverted he cannot do no matter what shape or form he/she takes and, unfortunately, while she is a woman, I cannot commit to physical violence in order to defend myself. Hitting women is ungentlemanly._

_I have to say that, before she left, France has shown herself to be an unsavory influence on the women in my country. As though America hasn't exported enough of his vulgar fashions..._

_Love,_

_Austria_

Dearest Austria,

Don't worry about it; I don't generally hit women either, but I have no qualms about beating up anyone with designs on the only man I have ever loved. And getting them arrested after the fact. And I refuse to refer to France in the feminine, until or unless England refuses to reverse whatever spell he cast.

And what effect has he had on your fashion? He was only transformed two nights ago!

…Never mind. Thank you for dinner; I had a wonderful time, and I'm leaving the Flying Pan with you again, just in case.

Love,

Hungary

_Hungary,_

_So Operation Get Mattie Laid is working? Awesome! When can I help? There's gotta be something I can do!_

_Aww, I have? But I thought I was making him happy! Dammit. I'll go right now, then. Heroes do that._

_America_

America,

Don't forget that England is older and less energetic than you are; if you want a relationship with him, you'll have to take this into account. He'll appreciate your apology.

And yes, _Operation Maple Beer_ seems to be working. You work on making up with England, and maybe in a couple of days try to convince him to turn France back into a man. (But not too quickly!) That's how you can help me.

Thank you,

Hungary

_Querida Hungary,_

_Yeah fru fru as a women... It's kind of freaking me out a bit but whatever. S/he always acted like a chick. S/he looks way hotter as a girl now, no **. Oh yeah, operation maple beer. So what's that all about? _

_Con amor,_

_Boriken_

Dear Puerto Rico,

Operation Maple Beer is a favor I'm doing to Canada. Beyond that, I don't think I should say, since I don't want Teutonic troll attacks.

Hungary

PS However, should the trolls attack…I'll be ready.


	38. Lebanon 15, NY 9, Ireland 3, France 13

_Dear Hungary,_

_Oh really? That's Francis for ya. Oh well. If he gets near me again though... :}~_

_See ya,_

_Jamila Haddad_

Dear Lebanon,

Keep up the good work!

Hungary

_Hungary:_

_Sorry 'bout the video -blushies- I was in a happy-high. ^_^._

_Later,_

_New York__ (Alex N. Jones)_

Dear New York,

I completely understand. It's something worth celebrating. Now make sure your dad doesn't lose focus, okay?

Hungary

_Dear Hungary,_

_About how Philippines found out...she was told by America since he couldn't tell Prussia. God I hate that idiot. But to help Canada, I'll keep him busy._

_Lucky clovers,_

_Meghan_

Dear Meghan,

Thank you very much. I'm sorry he's such a burden…he himself warned me he'd be insufferably patriotic for the next day or two…but I'm glad he'll be out of my hair, England's, and Canada's.

And you know how I feel about Prussia. Hopefully Canada can get _him_ out of our hair too.

Hungary

_Hungary__,_

_W-wait a moment, ma amie...I was nowhere near Austria's house last night...I was at England's. He will vouch for me, as will the multiple shots fired from Amerique's gun. So...who was at Austria's house last night...?_

_France_

France,

I'll believe it when England says so. Although I'm sure they wouldn't let you write to me if you were the one in jail…It was dusk already, but it definitely looked like you. Even the Flying Pan recognized you.

Hungary


	39. France, France, and More France

_Hungary,_

_Ma amie, I was caught on the surveillance tapes you had me set up in England's home. Check the tapes. I was there._

_Madeleine, formerly Francis_

France,

Believe me, I'll look.

Hungary

_Hungary,_

_Who is this person pretending to be me and writing you letters? I was at neither England's nor Austria's! I was at Spain's!_

_The REAL Madeleine, formerly Francis_

France,

I saw you in Vienna. England saw you in London. Make up your mind before I make it up for you.

Hungary

_Hungary__,_

_I do not see why you would send the Flying Pan to attack me when I was only _looking_. Now I am in jail, and I only just managed to convince them to let me send this letter to you! Get me out, quick!_

_Madeleine, formerly Francis_

France,

You're in Vienna now? What the…I'll bail you out, on one condition. You have to tell me what the hell is going on here!

Hungary

PS I'll be armed, in case this is a practical joke.


	40. Still More France, England 9

_Hungary__,_

_I never left the Middle East...why do you have letters saying I was in __England __and __Austria__? Well, not _in_ in them, since I am now a woman, and if anything _they_ would be in _me_, but you know what I'm talking about!_

_Also: __Lebanon__ is such an adorable child. I think I'll cook her something nice._

_Madeleine, formerly Francis_

Madeleine,

…Lebanon? But she…you just…_what?_ Since when are you such a lady?

And the other letters—I don't fucking _know_ anymore, who's sending me these letters. If they're all from France, he knows what I'm going to do to him. If there are impostors, then…who are you? Because you're not the real France.

Hungary

_Hungary,_

_...I'm leaving him female for a week. Maybe the other nations will try giving him a taste of his own medicine... I did see __Russia__ eying "Madeleine". I'd wish him good luck, but frankly, I don't care if the frog gets raped._

_Whatever you said to America, thank you. He's completely changed around me. Out of the blue, he decided to take me on a proper date. He made reservations, wore a suit, actually used charm and manners... What on Earth did you tell him? _

_England_

England,

You're very welcome. I simply suggested that not everybody was four hundred years old with boundless energy; I'm glad you enjoyed the result.

And regarding France…read the last four letters I posted. I've been getting these at intervals all day. First France is at your house (was he, by the way?), then he's at Spain's, and I also caught him spying on Austria. Now he's telling me he never left Lebanon! You've worked with him for more centuries than I have, England. What's he up to?

Hungary

PS Want to come with me to Vienna to get him out of jail?


	41. Canada 7, Israel 8, France

Dear Hungary,

Prussia invited me to go to a bar with him on Friday! Apparently he wants to "increase [my] awesomeness by educating [me] in beer." ... :)

Also...what the heck is going on with France? (Um, Madeleine? Both of them?)

Canada

Dear Canada,

Your father is now a woman, because England's magic is stronger when he's drunk. And…although it's possible that France is playing an elaborate joke on me, it sounds like there are four of them. If you see any of them in the coming days, let me know.

And congratulations! Have fun with Prussia (I can't believe I just said that), but _be careful_. Don't let him pressure you to drink if you've had enough.

Best,

Hungary

_Dear Hungary,_

_I just wanted to say that the picnic went well... It started out a bit awkwardly, but __Lebanon__ and I were having a good time by the end; at least I think we were. I haven't heard her opinion yet. We spent a good portion of it speculating as to how long it will take for __England__ to turn France back._

_It sounds like things are going well with Canada! I'm glad! Good thing Prussia doesn't read his mail...and now America is too busy celebrating to be a problem!_

_Shalom,_

_Israel_

Dear Israel,

I'm glad you and Lebanon are getting along better. I hope your respective governments can take a hint.

And yes, things seem to be going well with Canada. They're going out…I hope nothing bad happens. Kid doesn't seem to know what he's getting into.

Peace,

Hungary

Hungary,

Ma amie, I have been speaking with Spain, and have decided to give our little project with Canada and Prussia a boost. I am inviting them to my house tomorrow for a romantic dinner...followed by a little threesome action. ;) They shall be a couple in no time, now that my womanness is here to help!

Madeleine, formerly Francis

Madeleine,

NOT. YET. How many times do I have to tell people to _slow down_? America keeps calling this "Operation Get Mattie Laid." England said it best, I think: "Violent delights have violent ends." Anyway, what would Canada think of his…parental figure shoehorning in on his date with Prussia?

You can't possibly be France. France would consider Canada's feelings. Who the hell are you?

Hungary


	42. France, France, Austria 10

_Hungary,_

_Oh, my old colonies are so delightful! I think I'll visit __Seychelles__ next. Her island is so lovely, and I would like to cook something nice for her._

_Oh, but...I think I shall investigate this date of Prussia and Canada's first. Nothing too obvious, just a __little light__ shadowing. Letting them see me might upset ma petite Mathieu._

_Madeleine, formerly Francis_

Madeleine,

I'm convinced you're not France. But…since I can't be in multiple places at once, and since I get the feeling Canada will need someone to keep an eye on him tomorrow night…I welcome you with reservations to Operation Maple Beer.

Hungary

_Hungary,_

_Have you seen __England__ lately? I begin to find myself looking for him everywhere...and when I do find him, I shall ask him to marry me...marriage, marriage, marriage..._

_Madeleine, formerly Francis, soon to be Madeleine Kirkland_

Madeleine,

This sounds familiar; what the hell. I'm taking Britain with me to get France out of jail. Watch your step.

Hungary

_Dear Hungary,_

_I've been reading your letters and... You don't think __England__ might have multiplied __France__ as well as changed his gender, do you? One is irritating enough!_

_Love,_

_Austria_

Dear Austria,

Shit. That's exactly what it looks like. Why didn't I see that? You're a fucking genius, love.

…Sorry about that. I shouldn't be mad at myself; I'm not used to dealing with magic; I didn't anticipate England's spell going wrong. Remind me to remind him not to cast spells when he's drunk.

I'll be back in Vienna on Friday evening to get the France that's in jail there, and I'm bringing England with me to help restrain him. Maybe I'll see you after?

Love always,

Hungary


	43. France, England 10

_Hungary,_

_I find myself in __London__, yet I am unable to find my __England__. Where is he? Unless I find him, I cannot marry him...marriage...marriage...marriage..._

_Madeleine, formerly Francis_

Madeleine,

Okay, so maybe since you're not France, you don't know who you sound like. I'll enlighten you: you sound a hell of a lot like Russia's bitch of a little sister.

England's going to Vienna with me, to get France. If you follow us, you'll regret it.

Hungary

_Hungary,_

_The frog owns aircraft as well. In the span of time given, he could easily have gone from my home to __Spain__ and then to __Austria__, perhaps all in a day. He WAS at my home, but he is no longer. (And I can assure you he is not in Miss Lebanon's home; all my spies confirm he is indeed in Vienna.) _

_I'd help break him out, but frankly, after everything he has pulled, it might be fun to watch him rot in jail. May we leave him there?_

_In other news, how is __Operation Maple__ Beer faring?_

_England_

England,

No. You're coming with me. It's your fault that France is a woman and that there are four of them. And we're not breaking him out. This is my husband's land; we're doing it legally.

Yes, I said there were four Frances. Something went wrong with your spell, and when you turned France into a woman, you created copies of him as well. One France (the original, I believe) is in jail in Vienna. Another is stalking you. You're coming with me, conscious or unconscious, for the sake of my sanity.

Hungary


	44. Austria 11, England 11, Lebanon 16, NY10

_Dear Hungary,_

_Magic is…complicated, which is probably why England's the only one that really practices it anymore. I'm glad I could be of help. I hope Canada's lessons are serving him well. I haven't seen him so happy since... Well, to be honest, since __France__ and __England__ were fighting over him._

_Love,_

_Austria_

Dear Austria,

And not only are we making Canada happy, odds are that we're also getting Prussia off our backs. You can't say you don't appreciate my hobbies. ;)

Love,

Hungary

_Hungary__,_

_Four frogs?_

_...__Bloody hell__... May I just get rid of all four? I daresay it would save everyone a bit of trouble._

_Why on Earth are there four? Tipsy or otherwise, I couldn't possibly have...Bloody hell, I did a lot that night... That explains the date with America...Very well. I'll assist you. I shall prepare a flight to __Vienna__ and await your response._

_England_

England,

You weren't just "tipsy." That's how it happened. And now we have a plague of frogs. We'll meet at Austria's this evening, and go from there.

Hungary

_Dear Hungary,_

_Ok...The picnic with Israel was wonderful! It's nice to talk with someone who understands how difficult it is here in the __Middle East__. I mean…__Syria__ is so busy lately, that he doesn't talk to me anymore :( But Israel is really nice ^_^_

_Oh, and I'm so confused by the whole 4 Frances thing! From what I understand, one of the Frances _was_ at my house. I did him a favor and let him stay. Because he's helped me so much. _

_Great news about Prussia and __Canada__ going on a date!_

_Peace,_

_Lebanon_

Dear Lebanon,

I'm glad you enjoyed spending time with Israel. Isn't it great how nice _some_ people can be when you get to know them?

And yes, there are four Frances. Or, the way I'm thinking about it, one France and three Madeleines. I'm glad the right Madeleine showed up at your house…I've made her a temporary part of the team; she's off now, to make sure Canada doesn't get in over his head.

Peace,

Hungary

_Dear Hungary,_

_I'm sure Dad's too busy with __England__ to get in the way...but dude, Dad's boss came to my house yesterday. He laid a wreath at __Ground Zero__ and talked to people. Oops, gtg, bye_

_Alex N. Jones (New York)_

New York,

I'm glad things are going…well…but if your father shows any inclination to crash Canada's date, _please_ detain him.

Thank you,

Hungary


	45. Many Madeleines

_Hungary,_

_Onhonhonhonhon! I have the _perfect_ plan to get Prussia and __Canada__ together! I will crash their date and persuade them to go off with me! Hm, I should buy lots of condoms..._

_Madeleine, formerly Francis_

Madeleine,

This was going perfectly well before you interfered. I reserve the right to remove you from the proceedings.

Hungary.

_Hungary,_

_Where was the date going to be again? I will only pass by casually, I promise! Just to make sure nothing goes wrong!_

_Madeleine, formerly Francis_

Madeleine,

I think something will in fact go wrong. If you are in fact France's parental instinct, go right ahead. If not, you remember the Flying Pan.

Hungary

_Hungary__,_

_England will be in __Vienna__? I'll catch a plane...and marry him there!_

_Madeleine, formerly Francis_

Madeleine,

Facepalm. Good goddamn luck with that.

Hungary


	46. Lebanon 17, Austria 12, New York 11

_Dear Hungary,_

_Yes! Oh, this is so confusing. So, the real __France__ is at my house?_

_Confused,_

_Lebanon_

Dear Lebanon,

No, there is no longer a France at your house. The particular Madeleine who visited you seems to be made up of France's parental instinct…better that she visited you than the Madeleine that's France's sex drive. That's all.

Hungary

_Dear Hungary,_

_Yes, you were always a charitable woman. And I have to say that __Prussia__ hasn't been attempting to prove his "awesome" lately now that there's one person who follows him like a puppy._

_Love,_

_Austria_

Dear Austria,

Prussia had better be happy with his new follower. (Notice how polite I've been to him the last two weeks.) Otherwise we go back to me wiping the floor with his awesome. Now if you'll pardon the intrusion, I told England I'd meet him at your house before we went to get France. Shall we have dinner together beforehand?

Love,

Hungary

_Dear Hungary,_

_Thank you. Oh, and of course. But I think Dad's really busy with the whole "Bin Ladin is dead" thing. But, do I have permission to knock him out?_

_See ya!_

_New York_

Dear New York,

Why do you feel the need to knock him out? I'm flattered that you've asked my permission, but…am I really the person to ask on this one?

Hungary


	47. England 12, Austria 13, Israel9, Canada8

_Hungary,_

_Bloody hell__, I have a frog wanting to MARRY me?_

_...Hm. Well, then, I suppose it's a good thing that I've retrieved my gun back from Japan. *fully intends to end the creature's sex drive upon meeting*_

_I am in Vienna, writing this at the café you took me to during my last visit. I'll be awaiting your arrival... America hasn't come, but he knows where I am and may or may not follow me. He's almost like a puppy, I don't know if it's flattering or unnerving._

_England_

England,

We've all got our special someones…Even Prussia, it seems now.

And please don't attack the Madeleine on sight; France deserves to know what happens when he fondles you one too many times.

See you,

Hungary

PS If the opportunity arises, could you please turn the Frances back into men before you get rid of the copies? This is a rare opportunity for France to go fuck himself.

_Dear Hungary,_

_Of course. I shall have one of my chefs cooks us something up, unless you want  
>to go out for dinner.<em>

_Your Husband,_

_Austria_

Dear Austria,

England now proposes to meet us at a café of our acquaintance; let's go there.

Love,

Hungary

_Dear Hungary,_

_"Plague of frogs"... Hahaha! That's one memory Egypt doesn't like to think about...but it seems to apply here._

_He (She? They?) BETTER keep away from __Canada__ and __Prussia__!_

_Shalom (to everyone but the Madeleines),_

_Israel_

Dear Israel,

Odds of them staying away are slim, but the letter I just got from Canada suggests they can deal with each other.

Peace,

Hungary

_Um, Hungary..._

_So... Everything was going well on our date (!) until __France__, er, Madeleine showed up. He, I mean she, I guess, started, um, suggesting that Prussia and I go somewhere with him, I mean her... Well, I didn't want to, and Prussia was yelling at Madeleine because she wouldn't take no for an answer, and then...then ANOTHER Madeleine steps in out of nowhere and starts yelling at the first Madeleine for bothering me! And then they started fighting. And then they started demanding that Prussia and I choose which one was the real France! It was...weird. They both looked just like France, well, France as a girl, I mean, but they were identical, except for the fact that one was acting all motherly and wanted to protect me and the other wanted to get Prussia and me in bed with him. Um. Anyway, I thought the motherly one was more France, because he's been a pretty good father, all things considered, but Prussia thought that the other one was a better bet, for some reason. So the Madeleines started fighting again. And then the cops came._

_So. I don't think that my first date (!) with Prussia was quite what I expected. Maple!_

_Canada_

Dear Canada,

Stick close to Prussia for now, and don't get too drunk. If both the Madeleines got arrested, I'll be hearing from them soon. England and I are on our way to pick up the real France, and we may be followed by the third Madeleine.

Enjoy yourself,

Hungary


	48. France France Revolution

_Hungary__,_

_Ma amie, I _am_ the true __France__! I hope mon petit Mathieu's date was not ruined because of that...that...imposter woman! Oh, mon ami, I am so sorry...Mama will make it up to you..._

_Madeleine, formerly Francis_

Madeleine,

I'm sorry the other Madeleine caused you to be arrested. We'll come get you soon (you're in Berlin, right?), and have all the Madeleines together so we can sort this out.

Hungary

_Hungary,_

_Who /was/ that odd woman that interrupted me? She ruined my plans to get Prussia and __Canada__ to go off with me! Please tell me you will attack her with the Flying Pan very soon!_

_Madeleine, formerly Francis_

Madeleine,

Good for her. We'll come get you both later this evening, or tomorrow morning, and figure out what's going on.

_Hungary,_

_England is in my sight._

_Madeleine, formerly Francis_

Madeleine,

So is France. Keep following, and you'll learn something important.

Hungary

Hungary,

How much longer must I rot away in this jail cell?

Madeleine, formerly Francis

France,

Didn't think I'd be saying this so soon, but I'm happy to hear from you. I'll be there to get you in ten minutes, and I've brought some company. Prepare to suspend disbelief.

Hungary


	49. Palestine 6, Lebanon 18, New York 12

_Dear Hungary,_

_Did you hear the news? __Fatah__ and __Hamas__ have finally agreed to share power! I am no longer divided! Officially, anyway. Or unofficially. I'm not sure. The point is that the two parties actually LISTENED to my people._

_Things are looking up! Finally, __Israel__ might be convinced to stop her settlements in me. If the vote to recognize me in September makes it through, it'll be illegal!_

_Salaam,_

_Palestine_

Palestine,

Good for your people. I know how it feels to not be listened to.

Hungary

_Dear Hungary,_

_Thanks for explaining! It's been a _long_ week for me. Oh, and I /am/ thankful for motherly Madeleine. Or else a grenade would have been thrown ^_^_

_So...tired,_

_Lebanon_

Dear Lebanon,

You're very welcome. Has it only been the Madeleines that made your week long, or have other things been happening that I should be aware of?

Feel better,

Hungary

_Hungary__,_

_pout-Because it's fun. I hit him once when I was younger, and his _reaction_! HAHAHAH~! Anyway, trust me, if he is serious about something, the only way to stop him is to knock him out. I have no one else to ask if I can knock out my dad. No mom or anything really, so I need to blame _someone_ loljkjkjk_

_Later!_

_Alex N. Jones_

Dear New York,

It doesn't really matter to me. However, he's being nicer to England right now…if you hit him for his recent neglect of his domestic politics, I won't say anything. Knock yourself out, figuratively speaking.

Hungary


	50. Madeleines in unison, Italy 5

_Hungary,_

_WE WANT ENGLAND._

_[To marry him!]_

_NON. NOT FOR THAT. TO KILL._

_[And marry!]_

_WILL YOU SHUT UP ALREADY?_

_The Madeleines, formerly Francis(es?)_

Madeleines,

Calm down. England will be where I'm taking you. But if any of you lay a finger on him…let's just say there's a reason we're going to my house.

Hungary

_Cara Ms. Hungary!_

_Ve...I didn't write back for a while huh? My boss got into some really bad trouble over some __pretty ladies__, and Romano got really angry and it was scary!_

_Oh, do you know what happened to __Big Brother__France__? I haven't seen him since __England__ got really mad at him. I hope he's alright..._

_Baci__, Italy Veneciano!_

Dear Italy,

France is…well…he's been enjoying himself, or rather, themselves, a little too much lately. I hope England's learned his lesson about using magic when he's drunk. We'll be changing him back soon though.

As for your boss…off the record, I think it's about time someone called him out. It's time you had a boss who was nicer to women.

Speaking of which, how's the history project coming?

Hungary

…

**A/N:** Sorry it's taken me so long to update, but _I need input_. Can't fix the Madeleine problem until England writes, can't wrap up Operation Maple Beer until Prussia and Canada tell me whether they like each other enough to call it a success. So, please, readers/writers, this is your story too, I need your letters! Thank you.


	51. Germany 7, Austria 14, Canada 9

_Dear Hungary,_

_Well, I made some wurst but I don't think __Italy__ was that fond of it. I probably should have used my best sausage, I know how picky he can be..._

_Holy Rome might not have died? Well... that's interesting. Perhaps I met him before a long time ago since it really does seem like a name I heard._

_Er, what if what? You can't just write a thought like that expect me never to mind... anyway I did enjoy the pasta in the end, so don't worry about that._

_Sincerely,_

_Germany_

Dear Germany,

Yes, he can be very particular. Have you ever tried Italian sausage? How does it compare to wurst?

I…have a theory, about what happened to Holy Rome. But [(crossed out) your brother's such an asshole] my relations with Prussia have never been good enough for me to confirm it. Maybe now that I've found him a [(crossed out) groupie] boyfriend, I can find out for sure what happened to Holy Rome.

If you want to hear my guess, though, it's that Prussia took care of him for a while and put him back in charge when Prussia got tired of ruling the Germans. It's just a theory, now; don't read too much into it yet, maybe this summer we'll try some free association. But that's what _I_ think.

_Dear Hungary,_

_Prussia__ visited my house to "borrow" some of my beer. Apparently it was for a "good cause". Strangely, though, he was whistling and was POLITE._

_Your plans never cease to amaze me._

_Love,_

_Austria_

Dear Austria,

Prussia was polite? Wow…it's working. Tonight I have to supervise whatever England's doing to turn the Frances back, but would you mind celebrating with me tomorrow?

Love,

Hungary

_Dear Hungary,_

_Sorry I haven't written for a while; I've been a bit busy. But I wanted to tell you something really, really incredible that just happened. So, Prussia and I went out (!) again, to a different bar (He's very determined to "educate" me. I don't mind, though... Any time with him is fun!). He drove me home, and after he dropped me off Kumikiku (Dangit, that just doesn't SOUND right, but I don't know...) was sitting in the living room, and when I came in he sat up and said "Oh, hi, __Canada__!"_

_I think that this is the FIRST TIME that my polar bear has ever remembered my name! Now if only I could remember his..._

_Canada_

Dear Canada,

That's excellent! I think we can declare Operation Maple Beer successful. Try to vary your dates with Prussia—that is, you have interests besides drinking, and he should be capable of respecting them.

And about your bear—my day keeps getting better. I've rounded up the Madeleines, [(crossed out) and England's going to] and we should have that sorted out by tomorrow morning. This is, to borrow a word, awesome! I think the best way to learn his name is to keep asking for it. Your bear has been asking you your name for over a century; there's no shame in it.

Peace,

Hungary

PS If you get the chance, could you ask him what happened to Holy Rome, without letting him know it's me who wants to know? Tell him it's a story you heard, and never found out how it ended. Or something.

…

**A/N:** www. youtube. com/ watch? v=JuUZiPh-h7c This song was in my head when I wrote this chapter.


	52. Austria 15, France, England 13

_Dear Hungary,_

_I think I'd like that. God only knows how rare it is that __Prussia__ is remotely pleasant... Good luck in making sure __France__ is back to err...normal._

_Love,_

_Austria_

Dear Austria,

Thank you. Now that we've got them all in one place, it shouldn't be a problem.

See you tomorrow!

Love,

Hungary

_Hungary,_

_Two of us are men again! Onhonhonhon...if you want more payment for Operation __Eiffel Tower__, come by very soon. ;)_

_Also-the __Madeleines__. And the extra __France__. Which of us is the real one again? __England__ seems to think he should kill the spares...and we all agree he should kill that one Madeleine that keeps attempting to rape him. Could you lend us a hand?_

_Francises and Madeleines_

France,

You started without me? There is no justice in this world…except. I just remembered—that room you're in is the one where I added motion sensors to the cameras. So we're good. *grins*

One of you in the bedroom is the real France. I'll help England take care of the Madeleines, and then come deal with you guys. Enjoy it while it lasts, boys!

Hungary

…

_Hungary__,_

_It's done. Only one frog (though I might have broken the neck of the one that was groping me)._

_Please help me before I strangle this one, as well._

_England_

England,

You had a right to break that one's neck; I'm not going to deny it. I'm glad the copies are gone. (Though who knew France had such a strong mothering instinct? [(crossed out) And that he'd be so enthusiastic about] Besides Canada, I mean.)

And here's how I'll keep you from murdering the one that's left: I'm giving him a ten-minute head start leaving my house. If you can't catch him, you won't hurt him.

Best,

Hungary

…

**A/N:** Operation Maple Beer is officially concluded; I'd like a Germany omake, but the rest of your reviews after this will be saved for a possible Ask Hungary 3. Thank you to everyone who's written!


	53. Omake: Germany 8

_Dear Hungary,_

_Ja, I've tried it. I think it's good, but I really do prefer my own wurst. It's probably because I was raised on it though._

_You say East took care of him? Strange...East never mentioned looking after anyone except for myself. And, er, wait a minute. You think he put him in charge when he was tired of ruling the __Germans__? But he put me in charge so... are you suggesting that... that I am...?_

_Well... I suppose it's possible... I don't really remember my earlier childhood after all and East never answered when I asked about it. And of course, the name is familiar. Ja, it could be possible. I wonder if I should confront East..._

_Sincerely,_

_Germany_

Dear Germany,

It's just my theory, remember, and a theory I'm still testing. You can ask him if you want, but I would wait to see whether Canada can find out for us.

Best,

Hungary


End file.
